The photo is uploaded. The caption is written. Your thumb is hovering over the Post button.
Most of what people share online is harmless, and a lot of it is lovely: the garden, the new puppy, the cake that actually turned out. Posting is often just a way of saying “look at this” to people you don’t see often enough.
But some posts are hard to take back once they’re out, and the urge to share tends to be strongest right when it’s worth pausing. Here are nine worth thinking twice about.
The Artful Parent
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1. A photo of your grandchild the parents haven’t okayed
Your granddaughter lost her first tooth during your visit, and the gap-toothed grin is perfect.
Some parents are happy for grandparents to post anything. Others don’t put their children online at all, and they may have reasons they haven’t spelled out. The only way to know is to ask.
A quick text usually does it: “Okay if I share this one?” It may feel a little fussy. It’s much easier than taking a photo down after it has already been seen by 200 people.
Older grandkids get a say too. If your grandchild doesn’t want the picture shared, choose another one. Australia’s eSafety Commissioner encourages involving children in decisions about sharing their photos, and respecting it when they say no.
2. That embarrassing throwback of your grown child
It’s your son’s 35th birthday, and you’ve found his third-grade school portrait: the bowl cut, the clip-on tie, the smile he was very clearly told to do.
To you, it’s sweet. To him, it might be the picture his coworkers see first when they look him up.
The same goes for the dinosaur costume he wore until it fell apart and the grocery store tantrum you caught on video. Children grow up, and their old moments travel with them. Ask him before posting it. He might say yes, or suggest a different one.
3. Someone else’s big news before they’ve shared it
Your niece tells you she’s expecting. Your neighbor’s father died last night. Your friend’s daughter got engaged.
The excitement or sadness is real, and so is the urge to say something publicly. But news like this belongs to the people living it. They may still be telling close family, waiting for a scan, or not ready to read condolences yet.
Let them announce it first. If you want to make your own post, ask what they’re comfortable having you share. Their announcement isn’t permission to add the details they told you privately: the due date, the cause of death, the name of the hospital.
4. A vague post about “certain people”
After a tense Thanksgiving, you type: “Some people should learn that family means showing up.”
You haven’t named anyone. You don’t need to. Half your relatives will know exactly who you mean, and the other half will start guessing, sometimes wrongly.
The feeling behind the post is real, and it deserves somewhere to go: a call to a friend, a few pages in a notebook, a direct conversation when you’re both calmer. A public hint mostly adds an audience to the hurt.
5. A family argument you’re continuing in the comments
Your nephew shares something you strongly disagree with. You reply. He replies. You’re now typing your fourth comment, and his friends have started weighing in.
A brief correction and an escalating family dispute are different things. If he’s shared something you know is wrong, a short, civil reply can be useful to other people reading it too. But notice when you’ve stopped adding information and started trying to win in front of everyone.
At that point, a phone call or a private message gives you both room to talk without an audience.
6. A screenshot of a private message
A friend sent you something hilarious. Or someone sent you something rude, and you’d like everyone to see what you had to put up with.
Either way, they wrote it to you, not to everyone you know. Sharing it, even with the name cropped out, can feel to them like a small betrayal. And people tend to notice when their words show up somewhere they didn’t send them.
If the message was funny, ask before sharing it.
If it was threatening, harassing, or looks like a scam, that’s different. Saving it, and showing it to someone who can help, such as a family member, the platform, your bank, or the police, is not the same as posting it publicly to embarrass the sender. Screenshots can be useful evidence, and the eSafety Commissioner explains how to preserve it before you block anyone or delete anything.
7. Your vacation, while you’re still on it
The beach is beautiful, and you want everyone to see it. “Two whole weeks in Florida!”
That post also tells anyone who can see it that your house may be empty for the next 13 days. Depending on your privacy settings, that can be a lot of people, including some you’ve never met.
You don’t have to skip the photos. Post them when you’re home. The sunset will look just as good next Tuesday.
8. Your house number in the background
First day of school, grandkids lined up on the front steps. Or a proud shot of your new front door, freshly painted.
Look at the background before you post. A house number, a street sign, a school logo on a sweatshirt, or your license plate can tell strangers more than you meant to share, especially combined with everything else on your profile.
A different angle or a crop can remove a visible identifier. Check the caption and the location tag too.
9. Your boarding pass or new ID
You finally got the window seat on the flight to see your daughter, and the boarding pass feels like part of the trip.
But a boarding pass shows your name and booking reference, and the barcode holds more details still. Some airlines let you retrieve a booking using a surname and booking reference. Emirates’ manage-booking page, for example, asks only for a booking reference and last name, and from there the booking can be viewed and managed.
Keep identification documents, account numbers and booking codes out of photos too. For a travel update, photograph the view instead of the paperwork.
Before you post
You don’t need a rulebook. Two quick questions cover most of this list: Who else is in this, and have they agreed to it? And would I be comfortable if this were still around, and seen by people I don’t know, a year from now?
If you’re not sure, wait until morning. Most posts that are worth sharing will still be worth sharing tomorrow.