First impressions reward charm almost every time, the confident handshake, the easy smile, the person who fills a room the moment they walk in. Two studies that tracked what happens after that first meeting, rather than stopping at it, suggest charm’s advantage has a short shelf life, and that something quieter tends to win out once people actually get to know each other.
The clearest evidence for charm’s instant appeal comes from a 2010 study by Mitja Back, Stefan Schmukle, and Boris Egloff, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. In one experiment, 73 unacquainted college freshmen rated each other after brief self-introductions, and narcissistic traits significantly predicted how popular someone was rated at zero acquaintance. Follow-up experiments using silent video and even a single still photograph found the same pattern held, people rated as more narcissistic on cues alone were consistently seen as more likable, right from the very first glance. Crucially, the researchers traced this instant appeal to entirely surface-level cues, stylish or neat clothing, confident body language, and an entertaining way of speaking, not to any underlying trait that would actually make someone a good friend or partner. Charm, in other words, worked immediately, and it worked through packaging.
A second study helps show what happens once that packaging has time to wear thin. In a 1998 study by Delroy Paulhus, published in the same journal, small groups of participants met seven times over several weeks for 20-minute discussions, with peers rating each member’s agreeableness, performance, and overall adjustment after the very first meeting and again after the seventh. People high in narcissistic self-enhancement made a strong positive impression early on, but that impression didn’t just fade, it reversed. Ratings of their agreeableness flipped from clearly positive after the first meeting to clearly negative by the seventh, and the same reversal showed up for how well they were seen to perform and how well-adjusted they appeared. The pattern replicated in a second, independent sample. By contrast, people who came across as genuinely well-adjusted, marked by real self-esteem and resilience rather than self-promotion, made a positive impression early and simply held onto it, week after week, with no such collapse.
Together, these two studies build a clear case for why depth tends to outperform charm over time. Back, Schmukle, and Egloff’s research shows exactly how fast and how effectively surface charm works, it wins people over in seconds, based on nothing more than confident presentation. Paulhus’s research shows what happens once presentation is tested against reality, that same advantage doesn’t just plateau, it inverts, while authentic personal substance holds its ground the whole way through. Between the two, the person who seems the most impressive in the first five minutes and the person worth actually getting to know turn out, often enough, to be two different people.
It’s worth being honest about what these two studies don’t establish. Back, Schmukle, and Egloff’s research measured narcissism specifically, not charm in every form, and not every charming first impression is driven by narcissistic traits. Paulhus’s research involved small, structured discussion groups meeting briefly over a matter of weeks, and it’s not certain the same seven-meeting reversal timeline would apply identically to romantic relationships, workplaces, or friendships that unfold over months or years.
Within those honest limits, the research offers a genuinely useful caution against judging people, or being judged, entirely on a first meeting. The person who dazzles immediately deserves a second look before that impression is trusted, and the person who seems merely solid on day one may be the one whose reputation actually holds up once the polish has had time to fade.