Navigating social situations can be a real struggle for some people. Whether it’s due to nervousness, lack of experience, or simply not understanding the nuances of communication, these folks often resort to certain phrases that can make conversations more awkward.
These phrases, often used by those with poor social skills, can unintentionally give off the wrong impression. They might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can hinder one’s ability to form meaningful connections with others.
In this article, we’ll highlight 10 phrases people with poor social skills often use in everyday conversation. By recognizing these phrases, you might be able to improve your own social skills or understand why some conversations don’t go as planned.
1) You know what I mean?
It’s a common scenario. You’re in the middle of a conversation, explaining something, and then suddenly you end your sentence with “You know what I mean?”
This phrase is often used by individuals who struggle with social skills. It might be a reflex or a way to seek validation, but it can come off as insecure or uncertain. Sometimes, it can even seem like you’re putting the burden of understanding on the other person.
Sure, it’s important to make sure that others understand what you’re saying. But overusing this phrase can make a conversation feel more like an interrogation. It might also suggest that you’re not confident in your ability to communicate effectively.
Instead of relying on “You know what I mean?”, try to articulate your thoughts more clearly and confidently. If there’s still confusion, encourage others to ask questions or for clarification. This way, communication becomes more of a two-way street than a one-way lecture.
2) I’m not a people person
I remember this one time at a networking event. I was trying to make small talk with a fellow attendee. After a few minutes of conversation, he abruptly said, “I’m not a people person”.
The confession took me aback. It felt like the person was shrugging off any attempt to get to know him better or even build a professional relationship.
People with poor social skills often use this phrase as a shield. They think it excuses their awkwardness or reluctance to engage in conversation. But what it actually does is put up a wall between them and the other person.
The truth is, we all have moments when we’re not feeling particularly social. But expressing that in such a blunt way can make others feel unwanted or uninteresting.
A more tactful approach might be to express that you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, or simply change the topic to something less personal if you’re not comfortable. This keeps the conversation going without closing off potential connections.
3) Whatever
The phrase “Whatever” is a hallmark of 90s teen culture, popularized by movies like Clueless. But when used in everyday conversation, it can be a clear sign of poor social skills.
“Whatever” is often perceived as dismissive, indifferent, and even disrespectful. It can give the impression that you’re not interested in the conversation or the other person’s opinion. It hinders meaningful dialogue and can come across as rude or apathetic.
Instead of resorting to “Whatever”, try expressing your disagreement or disinterest more clearly and respectfully. You don’t have to agree with everything the other person says, but acknowledging their viewpoint can go a long way in maintaining a healthy conversation.
4) That’s crazy
Overuse of the phrase “That’s crazy” is another telltale sign of poor social skills. While it might seem harmless, it often indicates a lack of engagement in the conversation.
When you respond with “That’s crazy” to everything another person says, it can come off as though you’re not really listening or don’t have anything meaningful to contribute. It can make the other person feel like you’re not interested in what they’re saying.
Instead of defaulting to “That’s crazy”, try asking follow-up questions or sharing related experiences. This shows that you’re actively engaged and interested in the conversation.
5) I don’t care
“I don’t care” is a phrase that might be used casually in conversation, but it can also be a sign of poor social skills. It sends a clear message that you’re not interested in the other person’s thoughts or feelings.
This phrase can come across as dismissive and rude. It can make the other person feel unvalued and may discourage them from wanting to engage in conversation with you in the future.
Instead of saying “I don’t care”, it’s more considerate to express your lack of interest or disagreement in a more polite way. For example, you could say “I see your point, but I have a different perspective” or “I respect your opinion, but I see things differently”. This shows that you value the other person’s viewpoint, even if you don’t agree with it.
6) It’s not my fault
“It’s not my fault” is a phrase that can be a dead giveaway of poor social skills. This phrase can often be used as a defense mechanism to avoid taking responsibility for a mistake or misunderstanding.
While it’s human nature to want to avoid blame, constantly shifting responsibility can strain relationships and create an atmosphere of mistrust. It suggests an inability to accept mistakes and learn from them, which is vital in any social interaction.
Instead of resorting to “It’s not my fault”, try acknowledging the situation and expressing a desire to rectify it. Saying something like “I didn’t mean for that to happen, let’s see how we can fix this” shows maturity, accountability, and a willingness to make things right.
7) Why does this always happen to me?
I remember a time when I was going through a tough phase. I found myself constantly uttering the phrase, “Why does this always happen to me?”
This phrase is often a sign of poor social skills because it centers the conversation around oneself and portrays oneself as a victim. It can make others uncomfortable as it puts them in a position where they feel obliged to console or reassure you.
During my tough phase, I realized that this phrase was not helping me connect with others or resolve my issues. Instead, it was creating distance. So, I started to change my approach. I found that opening up about my feelings without playing the victim allowed for more genuine and supportive conversations.
So, if you find yourself saying “Why does this always happen to me?”, consider sharing your feelings in a way that invites empathy rather than sympathy, and promotes conversation rather than silence.
8) I’m just being honest
“I’m just being honest” is a phrase that, on the surface, seems like a good thing. After all, honesty is a virtue, right? However, when used inappropriately, it can be a sign of poor social skills.
This phrase can often serve as a disguise for rudeness or insensitivity. It suggests that the speaker doesn’t consider the feelings or perspectives of the person they’re talking to. While honesty is important, tact and empathy are equally crucial in maintaining positive social interactions.
Instead of saying “I’m just being honest” before or after a potentially hurtful comment, consider framing your honesty in a more considerate way. It’s possible to be truthful without being hurtful. Using phrases like “I see where you’re coming from, but have you considered…” or “In my experience…” can convey honesty without causing offense.
9) I hate…
The phrase “I hate…” is a strong statement that can be a sign of poor social skills. It’s natural to have dislikes, but expressing them so strongly can make others uncomfortable or defensive, especially if they have a different opinion.
This phrase can shut down conversation and create unnecessary conflict. It can also create a negative atmosphere, making it difficult for others to connect with you.
Instead of saying “I hate…”, try expressing your dislikes in a less confrontational way. Phrases like “I prefer…” or “I’m not a big fan of…” allow you to express your opinion without alienating others who might feel differently.
10) No offense, but…
“No offense, but…” is a phrase that often precedes an offensive or hurtful comment. It’s a clear sign of poor social skills.
This phrase is problematic because it gives the speaker a false sense of permission to say something potentially hurtful. While they may think it softens the blow, in reality, it does little to lessen the impact of the words that follow.
If you find yourself starting a sentence with “No offense, but…”, pause and consider a more respectful way to express your thoughts. Clear, kind communication is always better than wrapping a harsh statement in a thin veil of politeness.
