I live in Brazil with my husband and our one-year-old, and our weekdays start at 7.
We have breakfast at the kitchen island, then the three of us walk to his office together.
Emilia waves at the doorman like he is a celebrity. On the way back, I swing by the supermarket for our meal of the day and tuck fresh herbs under the stroller basket. By the time our nanny arrives, my brain has already made a quiet plan for the next twelve hours.
That blend of rhythm and flexibility is what saves me. I work full time and I want to be present for my daughter, my marriage, and my own health. Some seasons are tight.
Still, there are habits that make everything feel lighter and more doable, even when sleep is short and the to-do list is long.
Here are the eight that help me most.
1. Treat the calendar like a contract
If it is important, it lives on the calendar. Work blocks, baby vaccinations, dentist, date night, even the 20 minutes I need to prep tomorrow’s lunch.
I share calendars with my husband so we both see the same reality and negotiate in advance instead of firefighting later.
I plan around natural energy. Mornings are for deep work, early afternoon for calls, late afternoon for admin and tidying. The more I respect that rhythm, the less I rely on willpower.
As James Clear puts it, “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” I keep that line taped near my desk and build systems that are boring and repeatable, not heroic and fragile.
2. Plan one anchor meal a day
I cook daily, but I only stress about one meal. Usually dinner. The rest is simple and repeatable, like yogurt bowls, fruit, and eggs for breakfast, and leftovers or wraps for lunch. That single decision lowers the day’s mental noise.
The daily market stop with Emilia is our mini ritual. I grab a protein, a vegetable, and something that makes it feel special, like fresh pesto or good olives.
At home I batch tiny helpers for the next few days, things like a jar of vinaigrette or roasted sweet potatoes.
One anchor meal keeps everyone fed and grounded. It also sets a friendly deadline, because the chopping board knows exactly when I should log off.
3. Use micro rituals to switch roles
There is a small gap between work brain and mom brain. I bridge it on purpose.
After I close the laptop, I do a quick reset. I change into house clothes, wash my face, and make tea. That tiny routine tells my body what is next.
When I switch back to work, I do the same in reverse. Headphones on, phone in the hallway, one sticky note with the next three tasks. I breathe and start the timer for a focus sprint.
These micro rituals are short and consistent. They turn blurry transitions into clear lanes.
4. Protect a weekly logistics meeting with your partner
Every Sunday night we have a 20 minute logistics chat. Who is doing drop-off and pick-up if plans change. Which evening is for date night.
What errands can move to a delivery app. We check the week for bottlenecks and fix them before they turn into arguments.
We also decide the minimum viable plan for the house. Laundry days, bathroom quick cleans, which nights are leftovers. When in Santiago with family help, we expand the plan because we have more hands.
Back in São Paulo, we trim it down again.
The goal is not perfection. It is clarity. Clarity lowers friction and makes us kinder by default.
5. Standardize the boring things
Decision fatigue is a tax I cannot afford. I keep a capsule wardrobe, short red nails, a shoulder-length cut I can blow-dry fast, and a four step routine for skin.
My work bag is always packed with a charger, lip balm, and a pen. Uniforms are not dull, they are practical.
Our home runs on simple defaults. Same breakfast on weekdays. Same order of evening tasks, like dishes, sweep, bottles, lunch prep, lights.
When the basics repeat, the day feels steady even if work is chaotic.
“Time is elastic,” says Laura Vanderkam in her TED talk, which reminds me that the point is not to cram more in but to be intentional about what stretches. Defaults create room for what matters.
6. Say yes to help and build your bench
We have Lara on business hours and I am grateful every day. In Santiago we lean on grandparents and it feels like a luxury. Here in São Paulo we trade small favors with neighbors, like watching kids in the courtyard for 30 minutes so someone can take a call.
Help is a team sport.
I outsource when the math works. Heavy cleaning every few weeks, bulk paper goods on delivery, tailoring instead of replacing, rides when rain hits nap time. I also ask friends for their best hacks and return the favor. Everyone wins when we share templates, contacts, and shortcuts.
Journalist Amy Westervelt famously said, “We expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.” I do not audition for that impossible standard. I build support instead. Source
7. Keep work in focused sprints
When I try to work while half parenting, I do both badly. So I set clear work sprints and clear breaks. Ninety minutes on, fifteen off.
During sprints my phone is out of reach, notifications are off, and only one browser tab is open. During breaks I hydrate, stretch, and check on the house.
I start each sprint with a tiny checklist. Three tasks maximum, one must-do at the top, two nice-to-do under it. If I finish early, I pull the next card from my backlog.
If I get stuck, I write one ugly first draft or send one imperfect email to restart momentum.
Focused sprints beat endless availability. They give me more done with less resentment.
8. Close the day with a tidy reset and couple time
Our evenings are simple. We eat together, bathe the baby, read, bottle, bed. While one of us does bedtime, the other does the reset.
Dishes, counters, floors, toys, lunches, laundry set, tomorrow’s clothes. The house exhales.
After the reset we hang out like adults. Sometimes it is dessert on the balcony, sometimes it is a show, sometimes it is nothing but talking.
We guard this window like a small ceremony. Sleep comes easier when the day has a clean ending.
There is peace in closing the loop. Tomorrow shows up softer when you have already laid out the welcome mat.
How to put this into practice this week
Pick one upgrade per category and test it for seven days.
- Calendar: Create two recurring morning focus blocks and share them with your partner.
- Meals: Choose one anchor dinner and shop for it once, cook it twice.
- Transitions: Write a three step after-work ritual on a sticky note and try it today.
- Logistics: Book a 20 minute Sunday meeting and stick to it.
- Standards: Decide your weekday uniform and set it out each night.
- Help: List three tasks you can outsource or trade. Do one.
- Sprints: Try two ninety minute work blocks with your phone away.
- Reset: Write a five step evening tidy checklist and time it.
Small, consistent choices have compounding returns. You do not need a full life overhaul. You need a simple system you trust on ordinary days, and grace for the messy ones.
When I zoom out, the through line is honesty. Honesty with my time, my energy, and the real constraints of this season. I keep my system simple and consistent, the same way I write my posts .
Final thought
Progress creates hope.
The first week might feel clunky, then it starts to click, and before long you have a life that works more often than it does not.
That life will still be full of surprises, just fewer of the bad kind and more of the good ones.
