Let’s face it: every generation of parents thinks they’re just doing what’s best. But looking back, it’s wild to see how much has changed in just a few decades. What felt “normal” in the 80s and 90s would raise eyebrows today—and probably spark a heated parenting thread on Instagram.
I grew up in that era, and now as a mom to two kids, I can’t help but notice how dramatically the playbook has shifted. Some of these habits seem almost reckless now, while others are just plain outdated.
Let’s dive in.
1. Letting kids roam without supervision
Remember when kids could ride their bikes across town with no phone, no helmet, and just a vague “be home by dinner”?
My own childhood afternoons were spent looping the neighborhood with friends, stopping only when porch lights flicked on. Nobody thought to text or check in—because there were no texts, and pay phones were only for true emergencies.
Compare that to today’s tightly scheduled playdates, GPS trackers, and the expectation that an adult is always within arm’s reach. These days, if Greta is at a friend’s house, I want to know when she got there, who’s around, and exactly what time she’ll be home.
It’s not that parents back then didn’t care—it’s just that the culture of constant supervision hadn’t taken root yet.
Would I let my 6-year-old disappear for hours unsupervised? Absolutely not. But part of me wonders what small freedoms our kids are missing when every move is monitored. Are we keeping them safer, or are we teaching them that independence is too risky?
2. Smoking around children
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, you probably remember sitting in the backseat while a parent puffed away, windows barely cracked. Smoking was everywhere—restaurants, airplanes, even pediatric waiting rooms not long before that. I vividly recall the smell of cigarette smoke baked into car upholstery.
Today, the idea of lighting up near a child feels shocking. As the CDC notes, secondhand smoke is directly linked to asthma, ear infections, and sudden infant death syndrome. Public health campaigns reshaped what’s considered acceptable, and most parents wouldn’t dream of exposing their kids to smoke now.
It’s almost unthinkable that kids once lived with so much daily exposure. And yet, at the time, it was normal—no one batted an eye.
3. No car seats past toddlerhood
Here’s one that really makes me pause: kids in the 80s and early 90s often ditched car seats by age three or four, if they ever had one at all. Many of us spent road trips stretched across the backseat with a blanket, no seatbelt in sight. My siblings and I turned backseats into forts while my parents cruised down the highway.
Nowadays, safety regulations are crystal clear: kids use car seats and boosters well into elementary school. And for good reason—research shows they dramatically reduce crash injuries and fatalities.
I can’t imagine letting Emil, my three-year-old, ride without his car seat. But when I look at old family photos of myself sitting on a relative’s lap in the car, I realize just how dramatically norms have shifted. And it makes me grateful for the abundance of safety information parents have access to now.
4. Spanking as a common discipline tool
In the 80s and 90s, spanking wasn’t just accepted—it was expected in many households. I remember hearing kids say, “I’ll get the belt when I get home,” and nobody blinked. Even schools in some states still allowed corporal punishment back then.
Today, we know better. Studies consistently show that spanking increases aggression and anxiety rather than teaching self-control. As noted by the American Academy of Pediatrics, “spanking models aggressive behavior as a solution to conflict”.
I’m grateful we’ve moved toward calmer, more constructive ways to discipline—timeouts, natural consequences, and clear communication. My own kids test my patience daily, but I can’t imagine raising my hand to them.
It’s interesting to think about: if spanking was such a go-to method back then, what will future parents think of our discipline tools?
5. Unrestricted TV time
Saturday morning cartoons weren’t just a treat—they were hours-long marathons. Kids in the 80s and 90s often had televisions in their bedrooms and cable channels that ran nonstop entertainment. I knew kids who fell asleep to Nickelodeon or MTV every single night.
Contrast that with today, where we have mountains of research on screen time’s effect on sleep, behavior, and attention. Many families (mine included) treat screens like a carefully rationed resource. Greta gets a set block of tablet time, and Emil only watches shows in the living room where we can keep tabs.
It’s not that our parents didn’t care—it’s just that the conversation around screens and child development hadn’t really started yet. And it makes me wonder—will our kids grow up shaking their heads at the amount of screen time we still allow compared to whatever comes next?
6. Sending kids to play outside without sunscreen
If you were a kid in the 80s or 90s, summer meant long days outdoors, probably without a drop of sunscreen unless it was a beach day. Sunburns were shrugged off as “part of summer.” Aloe vera gel was the cure-all, and peeling skin was almost a badge of honor.
Now, we know just how damaging childhood sun exposure can be. The Skin Cancer Foundation notes that “just one blistering sunburn in childhood more than doubles a person’s chances of developing melanoma later in life”.
In our house, sunscreen is as routine as shoes. Greta rolls her eyes at my “time to reapply” reminders, but it’s one of those small non-negotiables I stick to. I sometimes think about how different my own skin might be today if sunscreen had been as normalized in my childhood as it is now.
7. Leaving kids in the car for errands
Here’s one that really shocks today’s parents: it wasn’t unusual to leave kids in the car for a “quick” trip inside the grocery store or post office. I vividly remember waiting in a parked car, entertaining myself with the radio knobs or rummaging through the glove box.
Today, that same scenario could land a parent in legal trouble—and for good reason. Heatstroke, theft, and accidents are very real risks. It’s a stark reminder of how different standards of safety were not that long ago.
Now, even a quick dash inside means unbuckling Emil, wrangling Greta, and turning errands into a family field trip. Exhausting? Yes. But non-negotiable.
8. Prioritizing convenience over safety
This one isn’t a single habit—it’s more of an overall theme from the era. Parents often made choices for practicality first: front seats for kids, babies on laps during flights, walkers for early mobility, microwaved bottles with no temperature checks.
Many of these shortcuts would shock people today because we now have evidence about the risks. Walkers, for example, are linked to falls and injuries, which is why pediatricians strongly discourage them.
I get it, though—convenience matters. I’m a mom who thrives on practical systems myself. But I also see how important it is to balance ease with safety, especially now that we have better research and safer alternatives.
Final thoughts
Parenting has always been a mix of instinct, culture, and the best information available at the time. In the 80s and 90s, parents weren’t “bad”—they just didn’t have the awareness or resources we do now.
When I look at my own kids, I sometimes wonder what habits we have today that will shock the next generation. Will they shake their heads at our reliance on iPads, or laugh at how obsessed we were with sleep schedules? Maybe they’ll wonder why we hovered so much when they grow up in a world that pushes for more independence.
The truth is, parenting will keep evolving. What matters most is that we stay open, keep learning, and never assume our way is the only way. After all, we’re raising kids in a world our own parents couldn’t have imagined.
