Let’s be real—self-worth isn’t something we stumble into by accident. It’s built through years of listening to ourselves, honoring our needs, and refusing to shrink for the comfort of others.
And the thing is, when a woman truly knows her worth, her boundaries shift.
The kinds of treatment she might have once brushed off or explained away? She won’t stand for them anymore.
Here are seven behaviors that just don’t fly when you’re standing firmly in your own value.
1. Constant disrespect
Have you ever had someone interrupt you over and over again, like your words weren’t worth hearing? Or maybe they made jokes at your expense, brushing it off as “just teasing.”
A woman with strong self-worth doesn’t excuse disrespect, whether it comes in the form of dismissive comments, snide jokes, or chronic disregard for her time.
Respect isn’t a luxury—it’s a baseline.
I think about it the way I think about teaching my daughter Ellie to care for the garden. If she keeps stepping on the seedlings, they won’t grow.
Words and actions work the same way. Without respect, trust can’t flourish.
2. Emotional manipulation
Manipulation can be subtle—guilt trips, gaslighting, or the classic “If you loved me, you would…” line. It twists love into leverage.
When you value yourself, you see those games for what they are.
And you don’t play along.
3. Lack of support
We all need cheerleaders—partners, friends, family who show up in our corner. But for too many women, the bar has been set at tolerating indifference.
High self-worth changes that. If someone repeatedly dismisses your dreams, mocks your efforts, or simply can’t be bothered to show up when it matters, you stop giving them front-row seats in your life.
Support doesn’t have to look like grand gestures. Sometimes it’s just a text that says, “I’m proud of you.”
But when even the smallest effort is missing, you know it’s not your job to chase after it.
4. Control disguised as “care”
I’ve heard women share stories of partners who make every decision under the banner of “just looking out for you.”
What’s for dinner, who you spend time with, how money gets spent—all tightly managed under the guise of love.
But control isn’t care. It’s fear in a costume.
When you’ve cultivated self-worth, you know the difference. You see that real care empowers, while control stifles.
You choose relationships where your freedom is honored, not clipped.
5. Dismissing feelings
Picture this: you open up about being overwhelmed, and the response you get is, “You’re overreacting.” Or, “It’s not that bad.”
It’s a gut punch.
Feelings are never “too much.” They are messengers, as I remind myself daily when I’m guiding Ellie and Milo through their own storms.
A woman who knows her value won’t stay in spaces where her emotions are brushed aside or minimized.
6. Neglect of basic kindness
It sounds so simple, right? Kindness.
Yet I’ve seen relationships where sarcasm replaces warmth, where one person gives endlessly while the other barely notices.
Once you know your worth, you realize kindness isn’t optional. It’s part of the everyday fabric of love and friendship.
When Matt brings me coffee in the morning or takes over bedtime stories so I can have a quiet bath, it’s not grand. It’s kindness in action.
And I’d never tolerate a life stripped of that gentleness.
7. Expecting self-abandonment
Here’s the big one: the belief that you should constantly set aside your needs to keep the peace.
I see it in moms who feel guilty taking a half-hour to themselves, or in women who stay silent to avoid rocking the boat.
But self-worth reminds us—peace that comes at the cost of self-abandonment isn’t peace at all.
I was reminded of this while reading Rudá Iandê’s book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos. One line struck me deeply:
“Being human means inevitably disappointing and hurting others, and the sooner you accept this reality, the easier it becomes to navigate life’s challenges.”
That truth gave me permission to stop holding myself to impossible standards. You will disappoint someone by setting boundaries. And that’s okay.
Your worth isn’t measured by how little space you take up, but by how fully you allow yourself to live.
Closing thoughts
If there’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that my kids learn less from what I say and more from what I model.
When I honor my worth, they see what it looks like to honor theirs.
And when I slip (because I do), I try to circle back, apologize, and remind myself that self-worth isn’t about perfection.
It’s about showing up as real.
So, if any of these seven behaviors are familiar in your life, I hope this gives you courage to say: “No more.”
Because your worth was never up for debate—it was always here, waiting for you to claim it.
