There’s a certain calm some new parents seem to carry, even in the thick of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes.
You might look at them and wonder if they’re just naturally suited to this, or if their baby happened to be an easy one.
But here’s what I’ve noticed after years of conversations with parents and reflecting on my own experiences: the ones who adjust most smoothly aren’t necessarily the ones with the easiest babies. They’re the ones who prepared in specific, intentional ways before their little one arrived.
This isn’t about having the perfect nursery or reading every parenting book on the shelf. The preparation that actually matters tends to be quieter, more internal, and often overlooked in the flurry of baby registries and birth plans.
If you’re expecting or thinking about growing your family, these nine approaches can help you build a foundation that supports you when the beautiful chaos begins.
1) They get honest about expectations
One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself before becoming a parent is releasing the fantasy of what newborn life “should” look like. The images we absorb from social media, movies, and even well-meaning relatives often paint an unrealistic picture.
Glowing mothers in white linen, peacefully nursing while sunlight streams through the window. Babies who sleep on schedule and coo contentedly.
Parents who adjust well tend to do some internal work around expectations before baby arrives. They talk openly with their partner about what might be hard. They ask friends with kids to share the unfiltered version. They make peace with the idea that their home might be messier, their patience thinner, and their schedule nonexistent for a while.
This isn’t pessimism. It’s grounded realism that creates space for grace. When you expect perfection, every struggle feels like failure. When you expect challenge, every moment of connection feels like a gift.
2) They build their village before they need it
We’ve all heard “it takes a village,” but the parents who thrive actually construct that village intentionally, well before the baby arrives. They don’t wait until they’re drowning to reach out for help. They identify who in their circle can offer what kind of support, and they have honest conversations about it.
Maybe your sister is great with babies and would love to come hold yours while you shower. Maybe your neighbor has offered to drop off meals. Maybe a friend who’s been through this recently would be the perfect person to text at 2 a.m. when you need reassurance.
As noted by researchers at the American Psychological Association, strong social support is one of the most significant protective factors against postpartum depression and anxiety.
Write down names. Have the conversations. Accept offers of help before you think you need them. Your future sleep-deprived self will thank you.
3) They simplify their environment
Nesting gets a lot of attention, but the most useful version of it isn’t about decorating. It’s about simplifying. Parents who transition smoothly often spend the weeks before baby arrives decluttering, organizing, and creating systems that require minimal mental energy to maintain.
Think about the daily tasks that will still need to happen: laundry, dishes, feeding yourselves. How can you make those things easier? Maybe it’s setting up a diaper station on each floor of your home. Maybe it’s meal prepping and freezing a dozen dinners. Maybe it’s finally letting go of the clothes that don’t fit or the kitchen gadgets you never use.
A calmer environment supports a calmer nervous system. When your physical space is manageable, you have more capacity for the emotional demands of new parenthood. This is especially true in those early weeks when decision fatigue is real and every small task can feel monumental.
4) They learn to receive without guilt
This one is harder than it sounds, especially for those of us who pride ourselves on being capable and independent. But learning to receive help gracefully is a skill, and it’s one worth practicing before your baby arrives.
When someone offers to bring dinner, say yes. When your mother-in-law wants to come fold laundry, let her. When a friend asks what you need, give an actual answer instead of “oh, we’re fine.” The parents who adjust well understand that accepting support isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
I remember feeling strange about this at first. But I also remember how much it meant when someone showed up with a warm meal and didn’t expect me to entertain them. That kind of care refills your cup in ways you can’t always do for yourself. Practice receiving now, so it feels natural when you need it most.
5) They invest in their partnership
If you’re entering parenthood with a partner, the strength of that relationship will be tested in new ways. The couples who navigate the newborn phase most smoothly tend to be the ones who’ve done some intentional connecting beforehand. Not just logistics, but emotional preparation.
Talk about your fears. Share your hopes. Discuss how you’ll handle disagreements when you’re both exhausted. Consider how you’ll divide nighttime duties, and be willing to revisit that plan as you learn what actually works.
Dr. John Gottman’s research on relationships after baby shows that couples who maintain friendship and fondness during the transition to parenthood fare significantly better than those who don’t.
This doesn’t mean you need to have everything figured out. But going into this season with open communication and mutual respect creates a foundation you can lean on when things get hard. And they will get hard, at least sometimes. That’s normal.
6) They release the need to control
Here’s a truth that can be hard to accept: you cannot control your birth experience, your baby’s temperament, or how your body will recover. You can prepare, you can have preferences, and you can advocate for yourself. But ultimately, so much of this journey is about surrendering to what is.
Parents who adjust well often have a mindset of flexibility. They make plans but hold them loosely. They have a birth vision but accept that babies don’t read birth plans. They imagine how they’ll feed their baby but stay open to what actually works for their unique situation.
This doesn’t mean being passive. It means being adaptable. It means trusting yourself to handle whatever comes, even if it looks different from what you pictured. That kind of inner flexibility is a muscle you can start building now, in small ways, before the big test arrives.
7) They prioritize rest before baby comes
“Sleep while you can” is advice that often gets an eye roll, but there’s real wisdom in it. The parents who seem to handle sleep deprivation better aren’t superhuman. They’ve often gone into the experience more rested, and they’ve thought about how to protect their rest once baby arrives.
In the final weeks of pregnancy, consider scaling back commitments. Say no to extra obligations. Nap without guilt. Go to bed early. Your body is doing enormous work, and rest supports that work.
Beyond physical rest, think about mental rest too. Limit doomscrolling. Step back from stressful news. Create pockets of quiet in your day. The National Institutes of Health emphasizes that sleep is foundational to emotional regulation and cognitive function, both of which you’ll need in abundance as a new parent.
Entering this season with a full tank makes a real difference.
8) They get curious about their baby, not just babies in general
There’s a difference between reading every baby book and approaching your specific baby with curiosity. The parents who adjust well tend to hold their knowledge lightly. They’ve learned about infant development and newborn care, but they stay open to discovering who their particular child is.
Your baby will have preferences, rhythms, and quirks that no book can predict. Some babies love being swaddled tightly. Others fight it from day one. Some are soothed by motion. Others prefer stillness. The learning curve is steep, but it’s also deeply personal.
Go into this experience as a student of your own child. Watch, listen, experiment. Trust your growing instincts. The confidence that comes from truly knowing your baby is more valuable than any expert advice, and it builds over time through presence and attention.
9) They make peace with imperfection
Perhaps the most important preparation of all is internal: releasing the pressure to do this perfectly. There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect way to navigate the newborn phase. There are only real humans doing their best with the resources they have.
The parents who adjust well give themselves permission to struggle. They don’t see a hard day as evidence that they’re failing. They understand that crying, frustration, and exhaustion are part of the package, not signs that something is wrong with them.
This kind of self-compassion doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It might take practice. But if you can enter parenthood with the belief that you are enough, exactly as you are, you’ll weather the storms with more resilience. Your baby doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one, a loving one, a good-enough one.
And you already are that.
Closing thoughts
Preparing for a newborn isn’t really about having all the right gear or reading all the right books. It’s about preparing your heart, your home, and your relationships for a profound shift. It’s about building flexibility, accepting support, and trusting yourself to figure things out as you go.
Some days will still be hard. Some nights will feel endless. But when you’ve laid this kind of groundwork, you have something to fall back on. You have people to call, systems that support you, and an inner voice that reminds you: this is temporary, you are capable, and you are not alone.
However you prepare, know that the fact that you’re thinking about this at all says something beautiful about the kind of parent you’re becoming.
