Remember that moment when your toddler runs full speed into your mom’s arms, squealing with pure joy? Or when your dad becomes the only person who can calm your fussy baby? There’s something magical about watching our parents transform into grandparents, and recently, I’ve been noticing how my kids absolutely glow when they see mine.
Last week, my daughter was having a complete meltdown about her tower of blocks falling over. Nothing I said helped. Then my mom walked in, sat right down on the floor, and simply said, “Oh wow, that must have been frustrating.” Within minutes, they were building together, and my daughter was teaching Grandma her special stacking technique. It got me thinking about what makes some grandparents so irresistible to their grandkids.
After watching my parents with my two little ones and talking with other families at the farmers’ market, I’ve noticed that grandparents who get those full-body tackle hugs tend to share certain qualities. Here’s what they’re doing right.
1. They get down on their level (literally)
You know what I see every time my dad visits? He’s on the floor within five minutes. Not sitting in a chair watching my kids play, but actually down there with them, usually being turned into a mountain for toy cars to drive over.
Kids notice when adults enter their world physically. It sends a message that says “what you’re doing matters to me.” My former kindergarten students taught me this years ago, and watching my parents do it naturally reminds me how powerful it is.
Think about it: when was the last time an adult got excited about the ant you found or agreed to crawl through your blanket fort? Grandparents who light up their grandkids’ faces are the ones with grass stains on their knees and Play-Doh under their fingernails.
2. They listen without rushing to fix everything
My mom has this superpower where she can listen to my daughter’s elaborate stories about her imaginary unicorn family without once checking her phone or suggesting we need to hurry up. She asks questions like “What color is the baby unicorn?” and remembers the details for next time.
When kids feel truly heard, something shifts. They open up more, share their worries, and trust that this person values their thoughts. It’s not about having all the answers or solving their problems immediately. Sometimes a simple “That sounds really hard” works better than twenty suggestions.
3. They create special traditions just for them
Every Sunday morning, my dad makes “silly pancakes” with the kids. These aren’t just regular pancakes; they’re wobbly shapes that look vaguely like dinosaurs or flowers, served with a made-up song about syrup rivers. My son now asks “Grandpa pancake day?” starting around Thursday.
These traditions don’t have to be elaborate. Maybe it’s always reading the same book together, having a secret handshake, or going on “adventure walks” to collect interesting rocks. What matters is consistency and that feeling of “this is our thing.”
The best part? These traditions often cost nothing but mean everything. Years from now, my kids won’t remember the expensive toys, but they’ll remember Grandpa’s pancake songs.
4. They show genuine interest in their world
“Tell me about your drawing” beats “What a pretty picture!” every single time. Grandparents who captivate their grandkids are genuinely curious about what they’re thinking, creating, and discovering.
My mom asks my daughter real questions about her leaf collection. Not just “That’s nice, honey” but “Why did you choose this one? What makes it special?” She remembers which friend at preschool likes dinosaurs and asks for updates on the classroom guinea pig.
This authentic interest tells kids they matter. Their thoughts have value. Their creations are worth discussing. And that validation from someone they love? Pure gold.
5. They embrace the mess and chaos
Recently, my parents watched the kids while Matt and I went to a local farm dinner. When we came back, the living room looked like a craft store had exploded. My mom just shrugged and said, “We made butterfly gardens! Want to see?”
Grandparents who prioritize connection over perfection understand that childhood is messy. They’re not stressed about sticky fingers or glitter in the carpet. They know that the best memories often come from the biggest messes.
This doesn’t mean no boundaries, but it means choosing battles wisely. Will finger painting on the patio hurt anything? Probably not. Will the joy on their faces be worth the cleanup? Absolutely.
6. They share stories and teach skills
My dad recently taught my daughter how to whistle using a blade of grass. Such a simple thing, but she practiced for days and now demonstrates this skill to everyone she meets. “Grandpa taught me!” she announces proudly.
Whether it’s teaching them to bake bread, showing them how to identify bird calls, or sharing stories about when Mommy was little, these moments create lasting bonds. Kids love feeling like they’re learning something special, something that connects them to their family history.
The stories don’t have to be profound. Sometimes the tale of how Grandma’s cat got stuck in a tree becomes legendary in a child’s mind.
7. They respect them as individuals
Do you remember being a kid and having that one adult who actually talked to you like a person? Not baby talk, not condescending, just real conversation? That’s what the best grandparents do.
They notice that one grandchild loves quiet activities while another needs to run around. They remember that this one hates having their hair touched and that one could cuddle for hours. They adjust their approach based on each child’s temperament, not forcing them into a mold.
My parents never compare my two kids or push them to be someone they’re not. They celebrate my daughter’s careful, methodical nature and my son’s wild enthusiasm equally.
8. They’re fully present when they’re together
Here’s what I never see when my parents are with my kids: them scrolling through Facebook or checking emails. They’re all in. Even if it’s just thirty minutes, those thirty minutes belong entirely to their grandkids.
Being present means noticing the small stuff. The way my son scrunches his nose when he’s thinking hard. How my daughter twirls her hair when she’s excited about something. These little observations become the foundation for deep connection.
Kids can sense when someone is genuinely engaged versus just going through the motions. Grandparents who get those lighting-up reactions are the ones who make their grandkids feel like the most important people in the world during their time together.
The bottom line
Watching my parents with my kids has taught me so much about what really matters in these relationships. It’s not about expensive gifts or elaborate outings. It’s about showing up, getting messy, listening well, and making each child feel seen and valued.
The grandparents whose grandkids race to the door when they arrive are the ones who understand that love shows up in the everyday moments. In the grass stains, the silly songs, the patient listening, and the willingness to enter a child’s world completely.
If your grandkids light up when they see you, you’re probably already doing these things naturally. And if you’re not there yet? Start with just one. Get down on the floor tomorrow. Ask about their favorite stuffy. Make up a silly song. The magic isn’t in doing everything perfectly; it’s in showing up with genuine interest and an open heart.
Because at the end of the day, kids don’t need perfect grandparents. They need present ones who make them feel like they matter. And that’s something we can all do, one blade-of-grass whistle at a time.
