Funny thing happened last weekend at the park. A little boy, maybe five years old, ran straight past his parents and launched himself into his grandfather’s arms.
The old man’s face lit up like Christmas morning, and for the next hour, they built the world’s most crooked sandcastle together while the parents sat on a bench, finally getting a breather.
It got me thinking about what makes certain grandparents so magnetic to their grandkids. You know the type: The ones whose grandchildren actually choose to spend time with them, not just show up for obligatory Sunday dinners.
After years of observing other grandparents at the park and reflecting on my own journey with four grandkids ranging from three to eleven, I’ve noticed some patterns.
The beloved grandparents, the ones kids gravitate toward naturally, seem to share certain traits that transcend personalities, backgrounds, or parenting philosophies.
Being a grandparent is like being a parent with the volume turned down. Same love, less anxiety. And maybe that’s exactly what gives us the space to develop these special qualities that make us so important in our grandchildren’s lives.
1) They remember what it’s like to be small
Have you ever watched a grandparent get down on the floor to play with a toddler? Not the quick crouch-and-stand routine, but really settling in at their level, seeing the world from three feet tall?
The best grandparents haven’t forgotten how big and scary the world looks when you’re little.
They remember that a broken toy can feel like the end of the world, that monsters really might live under beds, and that sometimes you just need someone to listen without immediately trying to fix everything.
I make a point of one-on-one time with each grandchild because I’ve noticed they’re completely different people when they’re not competing for attention.
My youngest grandchild once spent twenty minutes telling me about a bug she found. Twenty minutes! About a bug! But to her, that bug was fascinating, and because I remembered being three and thinking bugs were the most amazing things ever, I could share in that wonder genuinely.
2) They’ve mastered the art of unhurried time
When was the last time you had nowhere urgent to be? For most parents juggling work, activities, and endless to-do lists, time is always running out. But grandparents? We’ve discovered the superpower of slow.
The beloved grandparents don’t check their phones every five minutes. They don’t rush through bedtime stories. They let cookie-making take three hours if that’s how long it takes when little hands are helping.
This unhurried approach sends a powerful message to kids: You’re worth my time. All of it. Not the leftover scraps between appointments, but real, undivided, gloriously wasteful time.
3) They lead with “yes” instead of “no”
Now, before you think I’m advocating for spoiling kids rotten, hear me out. There’s a difference between being permissive and being open to possibilities.
Parents have to say no a lot. No, you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. No, we can’t adopt seven puppies. No, you cannot build a rocket ship in the living room. It’s exhausting but necessary.
But grandparents? We get to be the “let’s see what happens” people.
Can we have pancakes for dinner? Why not? Want to wear your Halloween costume to the grocery store in March? Sure thing! The world won’t end if rules bend a little, and kids remember who makes them feel like anything is possible.
4) They tell stories that matter
Kids are naturally curious about where they came from, and beloved grandparents are walking history books. But it’s not just about droning on about “the good old days.” It’s about making those stories come alive.
The best grandparents know how to tell the story about when daddy was afraid of the dark too, or when mommy got in trouble for the exact same thing. These stories help kids understand that their parents were once small, scared, silly, and imperfect, just like them.
As someone who spent years in an office job before retirement, I’ve got plenty of stories about persistence, failure, and eventual success that my grandkids love hearing. Not because they’re particularly exciting, but because they’re real and they’re mine to share.
5) They create traditions that stick
Every beloved grandparent has their “thing.” Maybe it’s Sunday pancakes, secret handshakes, or special nicknames. These traditions don’t have to be elaborate or expensive; they just have to be consistent and exclusively yours.
Taking my local grandkids to the park most weekends has become our thing. It’s the highlight of my week, honestly.
We have our favorite bench, our usual route, and our post-playground ritual of rating the dogs we saw from one to ten. Simple? Yes. Memorable? Absolutely.
These traditions become anchors in a child’s life, something steady and predictable in a world that often feels chaotic. Years from now, they might forget the expensive gifts, but they’ll remember the weekly park adventures.
6) They see the person, not the report card
Parents carry the weight of preparing kids for the future. Grades matter. Behavior matters. Achievement matters. It’s a heavy burden, and it sometimes overshadows simply enjoying who kids are right now.
Beloved grandparents excel at loving kids for who they are, not who they might become. They celebrate the child who shares their sandwich, not just the one who gets straight A’s. They notice when a shy grandchild makes a new friend, not just when the athletic one wins a trophy.
This unconditional appreciation gives kids a safe harbor, a place where they’re valued simply for existing. In a world that’s constantly measuring and comparing them, grandparents offer refuge.
7) They admit when they’re wrong
Here’s something I’ve learned: Kids have incredible BS detectors. They know when you’re faking interest, when you’re making excuses, and when you’re wrong but won’t admit it.
The grandparents kids adore are the ones who can say, “You know what? I was wrong about that,” or “I don’t know, but let’s find out together.”
This honesty builds trust and shows kids that adults are human too, that making mistakes is normal, and that learning never stops.
If you’re a regular reader, you might remember when I wrote about the importance of vulnerability in relationships. Well, the same applies here.
Being vulnerable with our grandkids, showing them we’re still learning and growing, makes us more approachable and real.
Closing thoughts
Looking back at these traits, I realize they’re not about being perfect or having endless energy to keep up with youngsters. They’re about being present, being real, and being genuinely interested in these small humans who share our DNA and our hearts.
The beautiful thing is, we get a second chance at this. Whatever we missed with our own kids because we were too busy, too stressed, or too worried about getting it right, we can give to our grandkids now.
Here’s my question for you: Which of these traits comes naturally to you, and which ones might need a little more attention?
Because at the end of the day, being a beloved grandparent isn’t about grand gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about showing up, slowing down, and remembering that sometimes the best thing you can give a child is your undivided attention and your wholehearted acceptance.
