Ever wonder why your parents or grandparents seem to bounce back from setbacks like they’re made of rubber, while younger folks often struggle with the smallest inconveniences?
There’s actually some fascinating psychology behind this.
People who grew up in the 1960s and 70s developed certain resilience traits that many of us younger generations simply didn’t have the chance to build. Not because we’re weak or lazy, but because the world has fundamentally changed.
I’ve been diving deep into this topic lately, partly because becoming a father has made me think about what kind of resilience my daughter will need in her world versus what previous generations developed naturally. The differences are striking.
Growing up with three brothers in Melbourne, we had freedoms that would make today’s helicopter parents faint. But here’s the thing: That freedom, along with other aspects of life back then, created a unique set of psychological strengths.
Let’s explore nine resilience traits that psychology tells us were baked into the experience of growing up in the 60s and 70s, and why they matter more than ever today.
1) Boredom tolerance
Remember when being bored was just… normal? People who grew up in the 60s and 70s didn’t have smartphones, streaming services, or instant entertainment at their fingertips. They had to sit through long car rides with nothing but the radio and their thoughts.
This forced tolerance for boredom actually built something crucial: The ability to be alone with your thoughts without panicking. Research shows that boredom tolerance correlates with creativity, self-reflection, and emotional regulation.
Today? We reach for our phones the second we feel even slightly unstimulated. We’ve lost the ability to just be, and with it, we’ve lost a fundamental building block of resilience.
Try this: Next time you’re waiting in line or sitting in traffic, resist the urge to grab your phone. Just sit with the discomfort. It’s harder than you think, but it builds mental strength like nothing else.
2) Physical toughness through unstructured play
Kids in the 60s and 70s fell out of trees, scraped their knees, and got back up without anyone making a federal case out of it. They played rough, took risks, and learned their physical limits through trial and error.
This wasn’t just about building physical toughness. It was about developing what psychologists call “risk assessment skills” and learning that minor injuries aren’t catastrophic. They developed confidence in their body’s ability to heal and bounce back.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I talk about how Buddhist philosophy emphasizes the importance of understanding suffering as a teacher. Those scraped knees were mini lessons in impermanence and recovery.
Modern playgrounds are so safe they’re practically padded cells. While safety is important, we’ve eliminated the opportunity for kids to develop physical resilience through controlled risk-taking.
3) Delayed gratification mastery
Want to watch a movie in 1975? You waited for it to come on TV. Want to talk to a friend? You waited until you saw them at school. Want to buy something? You saved up for weeks or months.
This constant practice of waiting built incredible delayed gratification muscles. The famous Stanford marshmallow experiment showed that kids who could delay gratification had better life outcomes across the board.
Today, everything is instant. Food delivery in 30 minutes. Same-day shipping. Instant messaging. We’ve engineered waiting out of our lives, and with it, we’ve lost a core component of resilience.
The ability to wait, to work toward something over time, to tolerate the discomfort of not having what you want immediately? That’s psychological gold.
4) Social conflict resolution without digital shields
Had a problem with someone in 1970? You had to deal with it face to face. No hiding behind screens, no blocking, no ghosting. You learned to navigate conflict, read body language, and find resolution in real-time.
This built incredible interpersonal resilience. People learned to disagree without destroying relationships, to have uncomfortable conversations, and to work through problems rather than avoiding them.
I see this difference clearly in my work. Older generations tend to address conflicts directly, while younger folks often struggle with confrontation, preferring to handle disputes through text or simply cutting people off entirely.
The ability to handle face-to-face conflict is like a muscle. Without practice, it atrophies.
5) Independence through necessity
Latchkey kids were the norm in the 70s. Kids walked to school alone, made their own snacks, and entertained themselves for hours without adult supervision.
This wasn’t neglect. It was independence training. These kids learned to solve problems, make decisions, and trust their own judgment. They developed what psychologists call “self-efficacy,” the belief in their ability to handle whatever comes their way.
Compare this to today’s heavily scheduled, constantly supervised childhoods. We’ve created a generation that struggles with basic independence because they’ve never had to practice it.
6) Attention span through limited options
Three TV channels. That was it. If nothing good was on, you read a book, went outside, or found something else to do. You couldn’t channel surf through 500 options or scroll through infinite content.
This limitation built deep focus abilities. People learned to commit to activities, to see things through even when they got boring, to develop sustained attention.
The psychological research on this is clear: Our modern infinite-choice environment has destroyed our ability to focus. We’ve trained our brains to constantly seek novelty, making it nearly impossible to develop the deep attention that resilience requires.
In studying Buddhism and mindfulness, I’ve learned that the ability to maintain focus despite discomfort or boredom is central to mental strength. It’s something that came naturally to previous generations but requires deliberate practice for us.
7) Community interdependence
Neighborhoods in the 60s and 70s were actual communities. People knew their neighbors, borrowed sugar, watched each other’s kids. There was a web of social support that didn’t require formal organization or Facebook groups.
This created what psychologists call “social capital,” the network of relationships that provide support during tough times. When crisis hit, people had real, physical communities to lean on.
Today’s digital connections, while valuable, don’t provide the same level of support. You can have 1000 Facebook friends and still feel completely alone when life gets hard.
8) Acceptance of discomfort
No air conditioning in most cars. No smartphones to distract from boring waits. No endless entertainment options. People in the 60s and 70s just accepted that life included discomfort.
This built remarkable psychological resilience. When you expect some level of discomfort, you’re not devastated when it arrives. You develop coping mechanisms, mental strategies, and most importantly, the confidence that you can handle it.
We’ve become so good at eliminating discomfort that we’ve lost our ability to tolerate it. The slightest inconvenience can send us into a spiral.
9) Reality-based self-image
Before social media, people’s self-image was based on real-world interactions and achievements. You couldn’t curate a perfect online persona or compare yourself to filtered, edited versions of others.
This created more stable self-esteem. Sure, people still compared themselves to others, but the comparisons were limited and local. You weren’t measuring yourself against impossible standards or highlight reels.
The constant comparison and validation-seeking of social media has created fragile self-esteem that crumbles at the slightest criticism. Previous generations developed their sense of self through actual experiences, not likes and followers.
Final words
Here’s the thing: Recognizing these differences isn’t about romanticizing the past or claiming everything was better “back in the day.” The 60s and 70s had their own serious problems.
But understanding what we’ve lost helps us consciously rebuild these resilience traits. We can create boredom in our lives, seek out controlled discomfort, practice face-to-face conflict resolution, and build real community connections.
As I think about my daughter’s future, I realize that building resilience in the modern world requires intentional effort. We need to actively create the conditions that previous generations experienced naturally.
The good news? These traits aren’t locked in the past. With awareness and practice, we can develop the same psychological toughness that helped previous generations weather life’s storms. We just have to be willing to embrace a little discomfort along the way.
