“Mom, watch me!” “Are you watching?” “Did you see that?” If you’ve heard some version of this phrase dozens of times before lunch, you’re not alone. It can feel relentless, especially when you’re trying to get dinner started or answer an email or simply sit for five minutes with a warm cup of coffee.
But here’s the thing: your child isn’t trying to drive you up the wall. They’re doing important developmental work. Each time they call out for your eyes, they’re practicing skills that will shape how they connect with others, how they see themselves, and how they move through the world.
Understanding what’s really happening in these moments can shift the way we respond, and maybe even help us find a little more patience when the requests keep coming.
1) They’re developing a secure attachment
When your child asks you to watch them, they’re checking in. They want to know: Are you still there? Do you still see me? Am I still important to you? This is the foundation of secure attachment, and it matters more than we might realize in the busy flow of daily life.
As noted by the National Institutes of Health, secure attachment in early childhood is linked to better emotional regulation, stronger social skills, and healthier relationships later in life. When we respond to our children’s bids for attention, even briefly, we’re reinforcing the message that they matter and that we’re a safe base they can return to.
You don’t have to drop everything every single time. But a quick glance, a smile, a “Wow, I see you!” goes a long way. These small moments of connection are deposits in the emotional bank account your child is building with you. Over time, they add up to something powerful: the deep knowing that they are loved and seen.
2) They’re learning to share experiences with others
There’s a term in child development called “joint attention,” and it describes the ability to share focus on something with another person. When your toddler points at a bird and looks back at you to make sure you see it too, that’s joint attention. When your five-year-old wants you to watch her cartwheel, same thing.
This skill is a building block for communication, empathy, and social connection. It teaches children that experiences can be shared, that joy is amplified when someone else witnesses it, and that other people have perspectives worth considering. It’s one of the earliest ways children learn to connect beyond themselves.
I notice this with Milo especially. At two, he’s constantly tugging my hand toward whatever has captured his interest, whether it’s a worm on the sidewalk or the way his block tower finally stayed up. He doesn’t just want to see it. He wants us to see it together. And honestly, when I slow down enough to join him in that moment, I often find something worth noticing too.
3) They’re building confidence and self-worth
Every time your child asks you to watch and you respond with genuine attention, you’re sending a message: What you do matters. Who you are matters. This is how confidence takes root, not through empty praise, but through being truly seen.
Children are remarkably perceptive. They know the difference between a distracted “mm-hmm” and a parent who actually pauses to witness their effort. When we offer real attention, even for thirty seconds, we validate their experience. We tell them that their attempts, their creativity, their persistence are worth noticing.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, has spoken about how children build their sense of self through the reflections they receive from caregivers. “Kids don’t develop self-confidence from being told they’re great,” she’s noted. “They develop it from feeling seen and understood.” That’s exactly what happens in these “watch me” moments. Your attention becomes a mirror that helps your child understand their own worth.
4) They’re practicing communication and social skills
Think about what your child is actually doing when they ask you to watch. They’re initiating interaction. They’re using language to express a need. They’re gauging your response and adjusting accordingly. These are sophisticated social skills wrapped up in a simple request.
For younger children especially, learning to get someone’s attention appropriately is a big deal. They’re figuring out how to make eye contact, how to use words instead of whining or grabbing, how to wait for a response. Each “watch me” is a tiny rehearsal for the thousands of social interactions they’ll navigate throughout their lives.
When we respond warmly, we reinforce that communication works. When we model patience and engagement, we teach them what healthy interaction looks like. And when we occasionally have to say “Give me one minute and then I’ll watch,” we’re also teaching them about turn-taking and patience, skills that will serve them well on the playground and far beyond.
5) They’re seeking validation for their efforts and growth
Children are constantly learning, constantly trying new things, constantly pushing the edges of what they can do. When they ask you to watch, they’re often in the middle of mastering something. They want you to see their progress, to acknowledge how far they’ve come.
This is different from seeking approval or becoming dependent on external validation. It’s a natural part of how humans learn. We try something, we look for feedback, we adjust. Your child is using you as a reference point, checking to see if they’re on the right track, celebrating their wins with someone who cares.
Ellie went through a phase where she wanted me to watch every single drawing she made. At first, I’ll admit, it felt like a lot. But I started noticing how her skills were developing, how she was experimenting with colors and shapes, how proud she was of each new creation. My attention wasn’t making her dependent on praise. It was giving her the encouragement to keep exploring, keep trying, keep growing.
6) They’re learning that they matter in a busy world
Here’s something I think about often: our children are growing up in a world full of distractions. Phones buzz, screens glow, there’s always something competing for our attention. When a child asks “will you watch me,” they’re asking a deeper question too. They’re asking: Am I more important than all that other stuff?
The answer we give, through our actions more than our words, shapes how they understand their place in the world. Research from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University emphasizes the importance of “serve and return” interactions, those back-and-forth exchanges where a child reaches out and an adult responds. These interactions literally build brain architecture and lay the groundwork for healthy development.
When we put down our phones and really look, we’re not just making our kids feel good in the moment. We’re teaching them that people deserve attention, that presence is a gift, that relationships require showing up. These are lessons that will echo through their lives as they become friends, partners, parents, and community members themselves.
Closing thoughts
I won’t pretend it’s easy to respond with enthusiasm to the forty-seventh “watch me” of the day. Some days, I’m tired. Some days, I really do need to finish what I’m doing. And that’s okay. We don’t have to be perfect witnesses to our children’s every move.
But knowing what’s behind those requests helps me respond with more grace, even when my patience is thin. A quick pause, a genuine smile, a “I love watching you try new things” can be enough. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It just has to be real.
So the next time your child tugs at your sleeve and asks if you’re watching, take a breath. Remember that this small moment is actually big work. They’re not being annoying. They’re becoming who they’re meant to be, and they want you there for the journey.
