Being a grandparent is one of those experiences that sneaks up on you.
One minute you’re changing your own kids’ diapers, and the next, you’re watching your grandchildren discover the world with fresh eyes.
Just last weekend, I was at the park with my youngest grandchild, and she looked up at me and said, “Grandpa, you’re the best secret keeper in the whole world.”
It stopped me in my tracks because it made me realize something profound: The small, everyday moments between grandparents and grandchildren often carry the biggest impact.
After years of watching my four grandchildren grow and spending countless hours at that same park, I’ve noticed certain signs that tell me when I’m truly making a difference in their lives.
They’re subtle, easy to miss if you’re not paying attention, but they’re there.
Let me share what I’ve discovered.
1) They start asking for your advice (not just your cookies)
Sure, grandparents are famous for spoiling kids with treats and gifts, but you know you’re making a real impact when your grandchildren come to you for guidance, not just goodies.
My eleven-year-old grandson recently pulled me aside during a family dinner and asked what I thought about him quitting soccer to join the drama club.
His parents didn’t even know he was considering it yet.
That’s when it hit me: I’d become someone he trusted with his big decisions.
This shift happens gradually.
It starts with little questions like “Why do clouds move?” and evolves into “How do I know if someone is really my friend?”
When grandchildren see you as a source of wisdom rather than just a treat dispenser, you’ve crossed into meaningful territory.
2) They remember and repeat your stories
Ever catch your grandchild retelling one of your stories to their friends? That’s gold right there.
A few months back, I overheard my granddaughter telling her friend about how I used to walk five miles to school in the snow.
Now, I may have embellished that story a bit over the years, but hearing her share it with such pride made my heart swell.
She was carrying forward a piece of family history.
When kids internalize and share your stories, they’re weaving your experiences into their own narrative.
They’re learning lessons from your past and applying them to their present, and that’s impact that spans generations.
3) They seek out one-on-one time with you
Group dynamics are funny things; put all four of my grandchildren together, and it’s cheerful chaos.
However, I’ve noticed something special happens during our individual outings.
When my grandchildren specifically ask to spend time alone with me, whether it’s a walk to the corner store or helping me in the garden, I know our bond has deepened.
These requests for solo time mean they value our unique relationship, separate from the family unit.
Children often reveal different sides of themselves in one-on-one settings.
They’re more likely to share fears, dreams, and those awkward questions they’re too embarrassed to ask anyone else.
If your grandchild is seeking these moments with you, you’re definitely making an impact.
4) They defend you when you’re not around
This one caught me by surprise.
My daughter-in-law told me that when someone at school made a joke about “old people being boring,” my grandson immediately jumped in with, “My grandpa is the coolest person I know, and he’s old!”
Kids standing up for you when you’re not there to hear it? That’s genuine respect and love.
It means you’ve earned a place in their heart that they’re willing to protect.
They see you as someone worth defending, someone whose reputation matters to them.
5) They start adopting your phrases and mannerisms
Have you ever heard your grandchild use one of your favorite expressions? Or noticed them making the same hand gesture you make when you’re thinking?
My middle granddaughter has started saying “Well, let’s think about this” whenever she faces a problem, complete with the chin-rubbing gesture I apparently do all the time.
Her parents find it hilarious, but I see it as something deeper.
Children mirror the people who matter to them. These little adoptions of our quirks and phrases show that grandchildren are absorbing who we are.
They’re trying on pieces of our personality to see how they fit.
That’s influence at its most fundamental level!
6) They open up about things they won’t tell their parents
Here’s something I’ve learned: If you can master the art of comfortable silence, grandchildren will fill it with their truths.
We’re close enough to be trusted, but removed enough from daily discipline to be seen as safe confidants.
When your grandchild shares secrets, fears, or mistakes with you that they haven’t told their parents, you’ve become their emotional safety net.
This means being that extra layer of support every child needs.
Sometimes they just need someone who will listen without immediately jumping into problem-solving mode or lecture mode.
7) They want to learn your skills and hobbies
The day my oldest grandchild asked me to teach her how to play chess was the day I knew our relationship had evolved.
She wanted to learn because it was something I loved.
When grandchildren show genuine interest in your hobbies, skills, or passions, they’re really saying they want to understand you better.
They want to share in what brings you joy.
Whether it’s cooking your famous pasta sauce, learning to whittle, or understanding why you love jazz, these shared activities become bridges between generations.
Closing thoughts
Looking back at my own childhood, I barely knew my grandparents.
They lived far away, and our interactions were limited to holiday cards and occasional stiff visits.
Maybe that’s why I treasure these small signs of connection with my own grandchildren so much.
The truth is, we grandparents have a unique opportunity.
We get to be present in ways that work and busy schedules didn’t always allow with our own children; we have the wisdom of experience combined with the patience that comes from not being on the parenting frontlines anymore.
These seven signs might seem small, but they add up to something huge: a lasting legacy of love, wisdom, and connection.
The next time your grandchild asks for “just five more minutes” at the park, or wants to hear that story for the hundredth time, remember that these moments are the building blocks of impact.
What signs have you noticed that tell you you’re making a difference in your grandchildren’s lives?
