Ever notice how the parenting advice that seemed outdated just a decade ago is suddenly making a comeback? I sure have. When I became a mom, I was determined to do everything “right” according to the latest research and expert recommendations.
But lately, watching my kids play in our backyard while I hang laundry on the line, I keep thinking about how my grandparents raised their kids back in the 70s and 80s.
Turns out, a lot of what they did naturally is now being validated by child development experts as remarkably beneficial for raising resilient, grounded children.
Growing up in a small Midwest town with traditional parents, I witnessed firsthand many of these practices. Back then, they just seemed like normal life.
Now, as I navigate raising Ellie and Milo in our modern world, I’m finding myself returning to many of these “old-fashioned” approaches, backed by both instinct and science.
1. They let kids play outside unsupervised
Remember disappearing for hours with just the instruction to be home by dinner? My grandparents’ generation didn’t hover. They trusted kids to figure things out, resolve conflicts, and yes, even take some risks.
Today’s experts call this “free play” and recognize it as crucial for developing problem-solving skills, creativity, and emotional regulation.
I’ll admit, letting my five-year-old explore our neighborhood park without me watching every move feels uncomfortable at first.
But research shows that children who experience age-appropriate independence develop stronger decision-making abilities and self-confidence.
Of course, we need to consider safety differently than our grandparents did, but the principle remains sound: kids need space to be kids without constant adult intervention.
2. They prioritized family meals without distractions
Back then, dinner wasn’t optional. Everyone sat down together, no TV blaring in the background, definitely no phones at the table. It was just conversation, passing dishes, and being present.
Modern research confirms what they knew intuitively: regular family meals correlate with better academic performance, lower rates of depression, and stronger family bonds.
We’ve made this non-negotiable in our house. Yes, sometimes my toddler throws peas and my daughter talks with her mouth full, but those 20 minutes of connection ground our entire day.
Studies show that children who regularly eat with their families have better vocabulascular development and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors as teens.
3. They enforced consistent bedtimes and routines
No negotiating, no screens to wind down, just bath, story, and lights out. While this might have seemed rigid, sleep researchers now emphasize that consistent sleep schedules are fundamental for children’s physical health, emotional regulation, and cognitive development.
My parents thought I was being too strict when I started putting my kids to bed at 7:30 every night. But maintaining that routine, even when it means leaving gatherings early, has given my children the gift of quality sleep.
The research is clear: children with regular bedtimes perform better academically and have fewer behavioral issues.
4. They didn’t shield kids from boredom
“Go find something to do” was the response to any complaint about being bored. No one rushed to entertain us or worried we weren’t stimulated enough. Boredom, as child psychologists now tell us, is actually essential for developing creativity, self-direction, and internal motivation.
When my daughter complains she’s bored, I channel my grandmother and suggest she figure it out herself. Usually, within minutes, she’s building fairy houses from sticks or creating elaborate games with her brother.
Research confirms that children who experience boredom regularly become more creative problem-solvers and develop richer inner lives.
5. They taught practical life skills early
Kids in the 70s and 80s cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and handled real responsibilities. This wasn’t about child labor; it was about raising capable humans. Experts now recognize that age-appropriate chores and responsibilities build self-esteem, teach valuable life skills, and foster a sense of contribution to the family unit.
My kids help with everything from folding washcloths to mixing pancake batter. Sure, tasks take three times longer, but watching my daughter’s pride when she makes scrambled eggs for the family is worth every extra minute.
Research shows that children who do chores from an early age are more likely to be successful, independent adults.
6. They maintained clear boundaries and expectations
There was no negotiating every rule or explaining the reasoning behind every decision. Parents were parents, not friends trying to win popularity contests. Modern attachment research supports this approach, showing that children actually feel more secure with clear, consistent boundaries.
This doesn’t mean being harsh or disconnected. It means being the loving authority figure your child needs.
When I struggled with postpartum anxiety after my son was born, therapy helped me understand that maintaining boundaries actually reduces anxiety for both parent and child. Kids thrive when they know what to expect.
7. They encouraged intergenerational connections
Grandparents, great-aunts, elderly neighbors all played active roles in children’s lives. This wasn’t just convenient childcare; it provided children with diverse perspectives, stories, and wisdom.
Today’s research on resilience shows that children with strong intergenerational relationships have better emotional regulation and stronger sense of identity.
We make regular video calls to grandparents and visit elderly neighbors. My kids hear stories about “the olden days” and learn that their experiences aren’t the only valid ones. These connections provide perspective that no amount of structured activities could replicate.
8. They used natural consequences as teachers
Forgot your lunch? You were hungry. Didn’t do your homework? You faced the teacher yourself. Parents didn’t rush to rescue kids from every uncomfortable situation.
Child development experts now emphasize that experiencing natural consequences is crucial for developing responsibility and understanding cause and effect.
When my daughter forgot her library book last week, I didn’t drive it to school. She had to explain to her teacher and miss library time. Was it hard to watch her face consequences? Absolutely.
But she hasn’t forgotten her library book since, and more importantly, she learned she can handle difficult situations.
Finding wisdom in simplicity
Looking back, what strikes me most about these practices is their simplicity. Our grandparents weren’t consulting parenting blogs or following expert advice. They were following common sense, community wisdom, and their instincts.
While we have access to more information and resources today, which can certainly be helpful, sometimes the old ways really are the best ways.
As I watch my kids play in the dirt while I tend our garden, just like I did at their age, I’m grateful for both the wisdom of the past and the insights of the present.
The key is finding that sweet spot where traditional wisdom meets modern understanding, creating childhoods that are both safe and adventurous, structured and free, supported and independent.
Maybe our grandparents didn’t have all the answers, but they certainly got a lot right. And in our rush to perfect modern parenting, we’d do well to remember that sometimes the simplest approach is also the wisest.
