I was standing in line at the grocery store last week when I watched a woman in her sixties pull out a checkbook at the register.
The cashier’s face stayed neutral, but the Gen Z kid behind me let out the tiniest sigh. I felt it too. That moment when you’re watching someone navigate the world in a completely different way than you would, and you can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable on their behalf.
Living in São Paulo means I see all kinds of people shopping at different paces. My aunts visit and do things at checkout that would make my younger friends cringe. They’re wonderful, but the generational gap shows up in the smallest moments. Here are the behaviors that create the most secondhand embarrassment.
1. Writing checks like it’s 1987
Checks still exist, apparently. When someone pulls out their checkbook and starts filling it in line by line while everyone waits, time seems to slow down. They write the date, then the store name, then the amount in numbers, then spell it out in words, then sign it, then record it in their register.
The process takes about three minutes. That doesn’t sound like much until you’re standing there watching it happen in real time. Digital payments take seconds. Even cash is faster. But for some people, this is how they’ve always done it, and they’re sticking with it.
I get that habit is hard to break. But when there are seven people in line behind you, maybe it’s worth considering a different payment method.
2. Arguing over expired coupons
Coupons used to be a whole system. People would clip them from newspapers, organize them in little folders, and bring stacks to the store. Some still do this, and that’s fine. What gets awkward is when the coupon expired two months ago and they want the discount anyway.
They’ll ask to speak to the manager. They’ll explain how they’ve been a loyal customer for decades. They’ll mention that the expiration date is just a suggestion. The cashier stands there trying to stay polite while the line gets longer.
As someone who values efficiency, I find this painful to watch. The coupon says it expired. That’s the end of the conversation. But some people see it as the beginning of a negotiation.
3. Chatting with the cashier like they’re old friends
Small talk has its place. A quick “how’s your day going” is friendly. But there’s a difference between being pleasant and telling your entire life story while people are waiting.
I’ve stood behind customers who share updates about their grandchildren, their recent doctor’s appointments, their opinions on the weather patterns this year. The cashier nods politely because that’s their job. Meanwhile, everyone else shifts their weight from foot to foot and checks their phones.
Back home in Central Asia, this kind of interaction is more common and expected. People take their time with social exchanges. But in a busy city store, there’s an unspoken understanding that checkout is a transaction, not a therapy session.
4. Refusing to use the self-checkout
Self-checkout machines aren’t perfect. Sometimes they malfunction. Sometimes the scale doesn’t register properly. I understand the frustration. What I don’t understand is the complete refusal to even try.
Some people will wait in a long line for a human cashier when there are four empty self-checkout stations available. They’ll say they don’t trust the technology or that it’s too complicated. But these same people use smartphones and navigate online banking.
Research from Pew shows that younger generations adopt new technology faster than older ones. That makes sense. But at some point, avoiding a basic machine becomes less about capability and more about stubbornness.
5. Paying entirely in loose change
I carry some cash for emergencies. Most people do. But there’s a difference between using a few bills and dumping a pile of coins on the counter to count out exact change for a forty-dollar purchase.
The cashier has to wait while they sort through quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. They recount to make sure. Sometimes they’re short and have to dig through their purse for more. The whole thing takes forever.
My husband and I joke about this whenever we see it happen. We both grew up watching our parents do this exact thing. It made sense when they were managing tight budgets and every penny mattered. But now, with digital payments, it feels like choosing the slowest possible option on purpose.
6. Not having their payment ready
The transaction doesn’t come as a surprise. You’ve been standing in line. You’ve watched other people check out. You know your turn is coming. Yet some people wait until everything is bagged and the total appears on the screen before they start looking for their wallet.
They dig through their purse. They check different pockets. They finally find their wallet and then decide which card to use. Meanwhile, everyone else waits.
This happens to me sometimes when I’m distracted or tired. But I notice it and feel embarrassed. The difference is that some people don’t seem to register that it’s slowing things down at all.
7. Questioning every single price
Mistakes happen. Sometimes an item rings up wrong. It’s fair to point that out. But questioning every single item on the receipt creates a bottleneck.
They’ll say the yogurt was on sale. The cashier checks and confirms it’s already discounted. They’ll insist the bread was cheaper yesterday. The cashier explains that prices change. They’ll ask why the total seems high. The cashier goes through line by line.
I’ve learned to check prices as items scan. If something looks off, I mention it right away. That way it gets fixed without holding up the entire checkout process. Waiting until everything is bagged and then asking for a full audit is inconsiderate.
8. Returning items at the checkout lane
Returns have a dedicated counter for a reason. The process takes time. You need a receipt, sometimes you need to show ID, the cashier has to process the refund. Doing this at a regular checkout lane when people are trying to pay for groceries is frustrating for everyone.
I’ve seen people pull out items they decided they didn’t want and ask the cashier to take them off the bill. That’s reasonable. What’s not reasonable is trying to return something you bought last week while there’s a line of people waiting to check out.
Older adults often prioritize social and emotional goals over efficiency. That explains some of these behaviors. They value the interaction over speed. They’re not trying to annoy anyone. They’re just operating with different priorities.
But awareness matters. When you’re in a shared space, your actions affect other people. Being considerate means noticing when you’re creating delays and adjusting accordingly.
Final thoughts
None of these behaviors are terrible on their own. They’re just small moments of friction between different generations. One group values efficiency and speed. The other values tradition and personal interaction.
I try to practice patience when I’m waiting behind someone who does things differently. They’re not wrong, just slower. At the same time, I make an effort to keep my own checkout quick and smooth. I have my payment ready. I don’t start conversations. I use self-checkout when I can.
The world is moving faster, and some people are choosing not to keep up. That’s their right. But if you’re one of those people, maybe consider that the teenager behind you is trying very hard not to roll their eyes.
