Last weekend, while pushing my youngest grandchild on the swing at our local park, she asked me something that stopped me in my tracks. “Grandpa, will you remember me when I’m big?”
I assured her I would, of course. But as we walked home, her question flipped itself around in my mind.
What would she remember about me? What would all four of my grandchildren remember when I’m no longer here to push them on swings or listen to their stories?
It got me thinking about legacy in a way that has nothing to do with money or property. The real inheritance we leave behind lives in memories, in the small moments that somehow become the big ones.
After spending countless weekend mornings with my grandchildren over the years, I’ve noticed patterns in what sticks with them, what they bring up months or even years later.
If you’re lucky enough to have grandchildren in your life, or hope to someday, here are seven things they’ll likely carry with them long after you’re gone.
1) The traditions you created just for them
My grandchildren don’t remember every toy I’ve bought them, but they remember our Saturday morning park ritual like it’s written in stone. Rain or shine, grandpa takes them to the park.
It’s become so ingrained that my eleven-year-old, who’s starting to act too cool for most things, still shows up at my door on Saturday mornings.
These traditions don’t have to be elaborate. Maybe it’s pancakes every Sunday, or a secret handshake, or always stopping at the same ice cream shop after school pickup.
What matters is the consistency and the feeling that this is your special thing together.
Kids crave predictability in an unpredictable world. When you create these rituals, you’re giving them an anchor, something they can count on.
Years from now, they might find themselves making those same pancakes for their own grandchildren, remembering how you used to let them flip them even though half ended up on the floor.
2) How you made them feel about themselves
Here’s something I’ve learned from making a point of spending one-on-one time with each grandchild: They’re completely different people when they’re not competing for attention.
My usually quiet granddaughter becomes a chatterbox when it’s just us. My typically boisterous grandson shows his sensitive side.
What they’ll remember isn’t just that you spent time with them, but how you saw them as individuals. Did you notice their unique talents? Did you make them feel capable and valued? Did you listen to their ideas like they mattered?
I’ve mentioned this before but children have incredible emotional memories. They might not remember the exact words you said, but they’ll never forget whether you made them feel smart, brave, creative, or loved.
That becomes part of their inner voice, the one that either lifts them up or tears them down throughout their life.
3) Your stories about the old days
My grandchildren love hearing about the time I got lost in the woods as a kid, or when their dad tried to build wings and jump off the garage roof. They ask for these stories again and again, like favorite bedtime books they never outgrow.
These stories do more than entertain.
They connect your grandchildren to a larger narrative, helping them understand where they came from. They learn that their parent was once a child too, that you were once young, that life has always been an adventure full of mistakes and triumphs.
Share the funny stories, sure, but don’t shy away from the challenging ones either. Tell them about times you failed and got back up, times you were scared but did it anyway. These stories become part of their toolkit for handling their own challenges.
4) The way you handled tough moments
A few months ago, I had to tell my grandchildren that our elderly neighbor had passed away. They’d known her their whole lives. Watching their faces process this news reminded me how closely children watch us navigate difficult moments.
Your grandchildren will remember how you handled disappointment, loss, and frustration.
Did you lose your temper when things went wrong, or did you take a deep breath and problem-solve? When they made mistakes, did you shame them or help them learn?
Being present at the birth of my first grandchild reminded me what really matters and what’s just noise. That perspective has helped me stay calm during the inevitable chaos that comes with four grandchildren.
They’ll remember that grandpa didn’t sweat the small stuff, that spilled juice and broken toys weren’t the end of the world.
5) Your genuine interest in their world
Yes, I don’t understand half of what my grandchildren talk about these days. Video games with complicated plots, YouTube channels about people playing with slime, music that sounds like noise to my ears.
But you know what? I ask questions anyway. I let them teach me.
There’s something powerful about an adult, especially an older adult, taking genuine interest in a child’s passions. It validates their interests and makes them feel important.
My eight-year-old grandson spent an entire afternoon teaching me to play his favorite video game. I was terrible at it, but his patience and pride in teaching grandpa something new was beautiful to watch.
They’ll remember that you cared about what they cared about, even if you didn’t quite get it. That you asked about their friends, their fears, their dreams. That you treated their concerns as valid, not silly kid stuff.
6) The little acts of kindness you showed others
Children are always watching, absorbing how we treat the world around us. Do we hold doors for strangers? Do we thank the grocery store clerk? Do we help neighbors carry in their groceries?
My grandchildren have watched me feed the ducks at the park, help lost dogs find their owners, and check on elderly neighbors after storms. They’ve seen me apologize when I was wrong and forgive when others made mistakes.
These moments might seem insignificant, but they’re building blocks of character.
What they’ll remember is not that grandpa lectured them about being kind, but that he lived it. Actions really do speak louder than words, especially to children who are still figuring out how the world works.
7) Your unconditional love
This might sound obvious, but it bears saying: What your grandchildren will remember most is knowing, without a doubt, that you loved them no matter what.
Not because they got good grades or scored goals or cleaned their room, but simply because they existed.
Every weekend when I pick up my grandchildren for our park time, their faces light up. Not because I’m taking them somewhere fun (though that helps), but because they know this time is sacred to me.
I protect these mornings fiercely, treating them as non-negotiable appointments with the most important people in my world.
They’ll remember that you showed up, that you were present, that you put down your phone and really saw them. They’ll remember feeling safe with you, knowing they could tell you anything without judgment.
Closing thoughts
Looking at this list, I realize none of these things require money, perfect health, or grand gestures. They’re all about showing up, paying attention, and being genuinely present in your grandchildren’s lives.
The beautiful thing about grandchildren is that we get a second chance to influence a generation, armed with the wisdom and patience we might have lacked as younger parents.
We know now what really matters. We have the perspective to see that dirty faces and grass stains are temporary, but the memories we’re building are forever.
What memories are you creating with your grandchildren today?
