Ever wonder why your kids seem to struggle with setbacks that wouldn’t have fazed you at their age?
The other day, I was watching my grandson have a complete meltdown because his phone battery died during a car ride.
As I sat there, trying not to chuckle, I remembered countless road trips from my youth where entertainment meant counting license plates or playing “I Spy” for hours on end. No screens, no instant gratification, just making do with what we had.
It got me thinking about how different things were for those of us who grew up in the 60s and 70s. We weren’t tougher or smarter than today’s kids, but we were certainly shaped by a world that demanded more resilience.
After thirty years in HR, helping people navigate workplace challenges, I’ve noticed a pattern: those of us from that era tend to bounce back from adversity in ways that often mystify younger colleagues.
Now, before you think I’m about to launch into a “back in my day” rant, hear me out. There are genuine reasons why our generation developed certain coping skills that seem to be in shorter supply today. And understanding these differences might help us better support the younger folks in our lives.
1. We learned to entertain ourselves without constant stimulation
Remember summer afternoons that stretched on forever? No scheduled activities, no screens, just you and whatever you could dream up. We built forts, invented games, and yes, sometimes we were bored out of our minds.
But that boredom taught us something crucial: how to be comfortable with ourselves and generate our own happiness.
Today’s kids rarely experience true boredom. There’s always another app, another video, another distraction. While technology has its benefits, constant entertainment means they miss out on developing that internal resourcefulness we had to cultivate.
When life gets tough and external distractions aren’t available, they struggle more than we did.
2. We experienced real consequences for our actions
If you mouthed off to a teacher in 1972, you knew what was coming. Not just from the school, but from your parents too. There was no negotiating, no parent-teacher conference to discuss your feelings about the situation. You messed up, you faced the music, end of story.
This might sound harsh by today’s standards, but it taught us accountability. We learned early that actions have consequences, and nobody was going to swoop in to save us from ourselves. That understanding has served me well through decades of workplace challenges and personal setbacks.
3. We had to wait for almost everything
Want to hear your favorite song? Wait for it to come on the radio. Need to research something for school? Trek to the library and hope they had the right encyclopedia. Want to talk to a friend? Walk to their house and knock on the door.
All that waiting taught patience and delayed gratification in ways that are almost impossible to replicate today. When you’re used to waiting, setbacks and delays don’t throw you off course as easily. You develop a longer view of success and failure.
I’ve mentioned this before, but during my HR days, I noticed younger employees often expected immediate results and recognition. Those of us who grew up waiting understood that good things take time, and a slow start doesn’t mean ultimate failure.
4. We solved problems without Google
When your bike chain fell off, you figured out how to fix it or you walked home. When you got lost, you asked for directions or found your way back through trial and error. There was no YouTube tutorial, no GPS, no instant expert advice.
This forced us to develop problem-solving skills and confidence in our own abilities. We learned to trust our judgment and work through challenges methodically. More importantly, we learned that making mistakes while figuring things out was normal, not a crisis.
5. We experienced genuine independence at a young age
By age ten, most of us were roaming the neighborhood freely, making our own decisions about where to go and what to do. We settled our own disputes, managed our own time, and learned from our own mistakes without constant adult supervision.
This early independence built confidence and decision-making skills that many young people today don’t develop until much later. When you’ve been making your own choices since childhood, adult responsibilities feel less overwhelming.
6. We lived with less and appreciated more
One TV for the whole family. Maybe one car. Hand-me-down clothes and toys that had to last. When something broke, you fixed it rather than replaced it. This wasn’t deprivation; it was just life.
Living with less taught us to be resourceful and grateful for what we had. It also meant that setbacks and losses, while still painful, didn’t feel quite as catastrophic. We knew how to make do, how to adapt, how to find happiness without having everything we wanted.
7. We had thicker skin because we had to
Nobody worried much about our self-esteem back then. If you struck out in little league, you didn’t get a participation trophy. If someone didn’t like you, your parents didn’t arrange a playdate to work things out. You learned to deal with rejection, criticism, and failure as normal parts of life.
Was this always healthy? Probably not. But it did mean we developed resilience to everyday slights and setbacks that seem to devastate many young people today. We learned early that not everyone would like us, not every effort would succeed, and that was okay.
8. We witnessed our parents handle real adversity
Our parents didn’t shield us from life’s difficulties. When money was tight, we knew it. When they lost jobs, got sick, or faced other challenges, we saw them work through it without falling apart. They showed us that tough times were survivable.
My father’s death hit me hard when I was in my forties, partly because I realized how much strength he’d shown through difficulties I only understood as an adult. That model of quiet perseverance shaped how I’ve approached every challenge since.
Closing thoughts
Look, I’m not saying everything was better back then. There’s a lot about modern parenting and childhood that’s genuinely healthier and more nurturing. But in our effort to protect and provide for today’s kids, we might have inadvertently robbed them of some essential life skills.
The question is: how do we help younger generations develop resilience without subjecting them to unnecessary hardship?
