When I was little, Sunday mornings meant one thing: My mom’s voice calling up the stairs that breakfast was ready, and we better not let it get cold.
No excuses, no sleeping in, no grabbing a granola bar on the way out. We sat together, passed the scrambled eggs, and started our day as a family.
Last Sunday, I watched my five-year-old set the table without being asked while my two-year-old climbed into his chair announcing, “I hungry!”
And I realized something: I’m doing exactly what my parents did. The same rituals, the same expectations, the same values that seemed so old-fashioned when I was twenty.
Growing up in a small Midwest town, my parents ran a tight ship. Not harsh, but consistent. We had rules, we had responsibilities, and we definitely had consequences. Back then, I thought they were behind the times.
Now? I’m watching those same “outdated” approaches shape my kids into the kind of humans I actually want to release into the world.
1) They know how to be bored (and it’s making them creative)
Remember when “I’m bored” got you a list of chores? My parents never rushed to entertain us. No tablets at restaurants, no constant activities, just… time to figure it out ourselves.
I’m doing the same thing, and wow, the payoff is real.
Yesterday, my daughter spent an hour creating an entire fairy village from sticks and acorns. My son turned our couch into what he called a “rocket ship store.”
Would they have discovered these games if I’d handed them a screen the second they got restless?
When kids learn to navigate boredom, they develop this internal resourcefulness that follows them everywhere. They become the adults who can handle a delayed flight without losing their minds, who find solutions when the obvious path is blocked.
2) They eat what we eat (and actually like vegetables)
There was no kids’ menu in my childhood home. Mom made dinner, we ate dinner. Sometimes we loved it, sometimes we pushed peas around our plates, but there were no separate meals or negotiations.
I’ve stuck with this approach, and while it wasn’t always smooth sailing (there was definitely a phase where everything was “yucky”), my kids now eat roasted Brussels sprouts and ask for seconds. They try new foods at friends’ houses without drama.
The bigger win? They’re learning that the world doesn’t revolve around their preferences.
Sometimes you eat the casserole because that’s what’s for dinner, and that’s okay.
3) They understand money doesn’t grow on trees
We didn’t have much money growing up, but my parents never hid that reality from us. We knew why we couldn’t have certain things, why we grew our own tomatoes, why new shoes meant old ones were truly worn out.
I’m not raising my kids in poverty, thankfully, but I’ve kept that same transparency. They know we make choices with our money.
They’ve heard me say “That’s not in our budget this month” and they get it.
My daughter recently told her friend, “We can’t buy that, we’re saving for our garden seeds.”
This awareness is already shaping how they think about wanting versus needing, about patience, about the value of what they have.
4) They have actual responsibilities
By five, I was setting the table. By seven, I was helping with laundry because families work together.
My daughter feeds our chickens every morning. My toddler puts his plate in the sink after meals. Are these tasks done perfectly? Absolutely not, but they’re learning that contributing isn’t optional.
The pride on my daughter’s face when she tells visitors “I take care of the chickens” is worth every spilled water dish. She’s developing competence and confidence in equal measure.
5) They solve their own (age-appropriate) problems
When I’d run to my mom with sibling disputes, she’d often say, “Work it out yourselves.”
It felt dismissive then. Now I see the genius.
Just this morning, my kids were fighting over who got the red cup. Instead of swooping in, I waited. After some back and forth, they decided to take turns by day. My daughter even made a chart.
Would my solution have been faster? Sure. But they’re learning negotiation, compromise, and that they’re capable of finding solutions without an adult referee.
6) They respect adults (while still being kids)
My parents insisted on “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.”
We looked adults in the eye when speaking to them. We didn’t interrupt conversations.
These expectations haven’t changed in my house, and the results are noticeable. Other parents comment on how polite my kids are. Teachers mention their respectfulness. But they’re still kids who giggle at silly jokes and sometimes forget their manners.
The balance matters. Respect doesn’t mean fear or blind obedience. It means understanding that other people deserve consideration.
7) They experience natural consequences
Forgot your lunch? You were hungry until you got home. Didn’t do your homework? You explained it to your teacher. My parents let reality be the teacher whenever it was safe to do so.
Last week, my daughter insisted she didn’t need her jacket. Instead of fighting about it, I let her go without it. She was cold at the park and asked to go home early. Today? She grabbed her jacket without prompting.
These small lessons in cause and effect are building their ability to think ahead, to make better choices, to own their decisions.
8) They know family comes first
Sunday dinner wasn’t optional growing up. Family events took precedence over friends’ birthday parties. We showed up for each other.
I’ve kept these priorities, and it’s creating something beautiful. My kids look forward to our family rituals. They talk about “family day” all week. They’re learning that some commitments are non-negotiable, that showing up for your people matters.
9) They can handle “no”
Perhaps the biggest gift my parents gave me was the ability to handle disappointment. They said no regularly, without guilt, without long explanations.
I say no to my kids too. No to the toy at the store. No to the third snack. No to staying up late. And while they might protest in the moment, they recover quickly. They don’t melt down in public, and they don’t expect every wish to be granted.
This resilience to disappointment? It’s going to serve them their entire lives.
The bottom line
Are my kids perfect? Not even close.
They have meltdowns, make messes, and sometimes drive me to hide in the pantry with my coffee. But they’re developing into capable, considerate, resilient little humans.
The “old-fashioned” parenting I grew up with wasn’t perfect either.
But the core of it, such as the consistency, the expectations, the balance of love and limits? That was solid gold.
My parents raised kids who became functioning adults, and that’s no small feat these days.
While the world has changed dramatically since my childhood, the fundamental needs of kids haven’t. They still need boundaries. They still need to contribute. They still need to learn that the world is both beautiful and challenging, and they’re equipped to handle both.
I’m grateful my parents didn’t read all the latest parenting books or worry about being their kids’ best friends. They just parented, with common sense and conviction.
And now, watching my own kids flourish with the same approach, I finally understand what a gift that was.
