Last weekend, my mom came to visit, and something magical happened. The second her car pulled into our driveway, both kids dropped everything and sprinted to the door, bouncing on their toes with excitement. “She’s here! She’s here!” they squealed, practically vibrating with joy.
I watched from the kitchen window as she stepped out, and they launched themselves at her like little rockets. No hesitation. No shyness. Just pure, unfiltered delight at seeing their grandmother.
Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, Mom and I sat on the porch with cups of chamomile tea. “How do you do it?” I asked her. “They never run to Great-Aunt Sharon like that, and she brings them presents every time.”
She just smiled and said, “I learned what really matters.”
That conversation got me thinking about what makes some grandparents absolutely magnetic to their grandchildren. You know the ones I mean. The grandparents whose houses feel like second homes, whose laps are the safest places in the world, whose visits are better than Christmas morning.
After years of watching my mom with my kids, and remembering my own grandparents, I’ve noticed patterns. The grandparents who have that special something have mastered certain ways of being that create an unbreakable bond.
1) You’ve learned to meet them exactly where they are
Remember being a kid and having adults constantly tell you to hurry up, calm down, or act your age? The magnetic grandparents don’t do that. They enter the child’s world instead of demanding the child enter theirs.
My mom will spend forty-five minutes examining rocks with my daughter, treating each one like a precious gem. She doesn’t check her phone. She doesn’t rush. She asks genuine questions about why this rock is special and that one isn’t.
When my son builds his couch cushion forts, she doesn’t worry about the mess. She asks if she can come inside, then sits there with him, even if her back protests later.
This isn’t about being a pushover or having no boundaries. It’s about recognizing that childhood operates on a different frequency, and being willing to tune in.
2) You remember what it feels like to be small
Have you ever noticed how some adults physically get down to a child’s eye level when they talk to them? That’s a grandparent who remembers.
They remember how scary it was when adults towered over you. They remember how frustrating it was when nobody took your problems seriously. They remember wanting to be heard, really heard, not just patted on the head and dismissed.
When my daughter comes to my mom upset because her friend said her drawing was ugly, Mom doesn’t minimize it with “Oh, that’s not important” or “Just ignore them.” She says things like, “That must have really hurt your feelings. Tell me more.”
3) You’ve stopped trying to fix everything
This one’s huge. Kids don’t always want solutions. Sometimes they just want someone to sit with them in their feelings.
I learned this from watching my mom with my kids during what I call their “big feelings moments.” Instead of immediately jumping to “Here’s what you should do” or “Let me fix this,” she just listens. She nods. She makes understanding sounds.
“I’m listening,” she’ll say. And then she actually does.
The result? My kids tell her things they don’t even tell me sometimes. They trust her with their worries and their secrets because they know she won’t immediately try to solve or judge or redirect.
4) You’ve mastered the art of undivided attention
We live in a world of constant distractions. But you know what kids notice? When someone is fully present with them.
My mom puts her phone in her purse when she’s with the kids. Not on silent sitting next to her. Actually away. When they’re showing her their latest creation or telling her a rambling story about their day, she’s all in.
She makes eye contact. She asks follow-up questions. She remembers details from last time and brings them up. “How did that science experiment turn out?” “Did you ever find that missing puzzle piece?”
Kids are attention experts. They know when you’re faking it, and they know when you’re real.
5) You celebrate the ordinary moments
Not every day is a birthday or holiday, but magnetic grandparents make regular days feel special anyway.
My mom celebrates weird little things. Successfully tying shoes. Finding a really good stick. Making it through the grocery store without a meltdown. She acts like these are legitimate accomplishments worth acknowledging.
She doesn’t overdo it with false praise, but she notices effort and growth. “You worked really hard on that” means more than “You’re so smart” ever could.
6) You’ve created rituals just for them
Every time my mom visits, she and the kids have their “secret handshake” (it’s not secret, we all know it, but we pretend we don’t). They have special songs they sing together. She lets them help her make her “famous” banana bread, even though it takes three times as long with their help.
These rituals become anchors. They’re predictable in the best way. Kids know what to expect and look forward to these special traditions that belong just to them and Grandma.
7) You respect their autonomy
This is where a lot of well-meaning grandparents miss the mark. They insist on hugs when the child isn’t feeling it. They force interactions. They override the child’s preferences because “Grandma knows best.”
The grandparents kids run to? They respect boundaries. They ask, “Would you like a hug?” and accept the answer. They don’t take it personally when a child needs space.
My mom taught me this when my daughter went through a phase of not wanting to be touched. Instead of being hurt, Mom said, “That’s okay, sweetheart. How about a high-five instead?” The phase passed quickly because there was no power struggle.
8) You show up consistently, not perfectly
The grandparents who have mastered the art of being loved don’t try to be perfect. They don’t compete with other grandparents. They don’t buy love with gifts or grand gestures.
They just show up. Consistently. Reliably.
They’re the ones who remember to call on the first day of school. Who send postcards from trips. Who show genuine interest in the latest obsession, whether it’s dinosaurs or dance or drawing.
They make mistakes and apologize. They get tired and need breaks. They’re human, and they let their grandchildren see that humanity.
The beautiful truth
Here’s what I’ve realized: kids running to their grandparents isn’t about being the “fun” grandparent or the one with the biggest toy budget. It’s about being a safe harbor in their little worlds.
It’s about being someone who sees them, really sees them, as complete people worthy of respect and attention. Someone who makes them feel valued not for what they achieve, but for who they are.
When children run to you, they’re not running to perfection. They’re running to love that feels safe, consistent, and real. They’re running to someone who has mastered the art of making them feel like they matter.
And isn’t that what we all want? To matter to someone so much that just seeing us makes their whole face light up?
That’s the gift the best grandparents give. Not just to their grandchildren, but to all of us watching. They remind us what unconditional love looks like in action.
