When my daughter was three, she’d sprint past me at family gatherings to throw herself into my mom’s arms first. Every single time.
And you know what? I wasn’t even a little bit jealous. Watching that pure, unfiltered joy on both their faces taught me something powerful about the bond between grandparents and grandchildren.
Now that I’m watching my own parents with Ellie and Milo, I see those special connections forming all over again. There’s something magical that happens when grandparents get it right, when they become that safe harbor, that source of endless patience and unconditional love.
How do you know if you’re really the favorite? Kids are pretty honest, but they’re also surprisingly subtle in how they show their deepest affections.
After years of observing these relationships (first as a kindergarten teacher, now as a mom), I’ve noticed certain telltale signs that reveal when a grandparent has truly captured a child’s heart.
1) They save their biggest stories for you
Ever notice how some kids will give their parents the bare minimum rundown of their day, but then launch into elaborate tales the moment certain grandparents arrive? That’s not coincidence.
When my five-year-old saves up her playground dramas and art project triumphs specifically to share with one particular grandparent, I know something special is happening.
She’ll literally tell me, “I’ll wait to tell Grandma about the butterfly we found.”
It’s like she’s collecting treasures throughout her day, knowing exactly who will appreciate them most.
Favorite grandparents have mastered the art of making kids feel like their stories are the most fascinating things in the world.
They ask follow-up questions, they remember the names of stuffed animals and imaginary friends, and they never, ever rush through the telling.
2) They want to show you everything they’ve learned
My two-year-old recently learned to somersault. Guess who had to watch approximately 47 demonstrations in a row? Not me or my husband, but his grandfather who’d just arrived for a visit.
When kids constantly pull grandparents into their world of new discoveries, whether it’s a freshly memorized song, a wobbly cartwheel, or their latest LEGO creation, they’re essentially saying: “Your opinion matters most to me.”
I remember this from my teaching days too. The kids who’d mastered tying their shoes would wait specifically for certain adults to witness their achievement. It’s a form of love, really. They want to make you proud because your pride means everything to them.
3) They calm down faster in your presence
Here’s something I’ve noticed that’s almost uncanny: When certain grandparents walk into a room where a meltdown is in progress, the storm clouds often part.
Last week, we were dealing with an epic tantrum over a broken crayon. Nothing I said or did was helping. Then my mom walked in, didn’t say a word, just sat down on the floor nearby. Within minutes, my sobbing child had crawled into her lap, hiccupping out the story of the crayon tragedy while Grandma listened with complete seriousness.
Why does this happen? Favorite grandparents have this magical combination of being both removed from daily discipline and completely invested in emotional comfort. Kids sense that grandparents have all the time in the world for their feelings.
4) They create special traditions just with you
Does your grandchild insist on a specific routine that only happens with you? Maybe it’s making pancakes in a certain silly way, or having “adventures” to check the mailbox, or reading books in a particular order?
My parents have developed this whole elaborate routine with my kids involving “collage tables” where everyone contributes to these wild art projects. It started spontaneously one rainy afternoon, and now it’s become this sacred tradition that only happens at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. The kids talk about it for days before visits.
These rituals matter because kids are showing you deserve a special place in their world, complete with customs that belong to just you and them.
5) They naturally gravitate toward you in groups
Watch what happens at a family gathering. Where does your grandchild position themselves? Who do they check in with between activities? Whose lap do they claim when they’re tired?
A favorite grandparent becomes like a human security blanket in social situations. Even when kids are playing independently, you’ll notice them orbiting around certain grandparents, making sure they stay within view, occasionally running over for a quick hug or to share a random thought before zooming off again.
This unconscious gravitational pull speaks volumes. Kids naturally stay close to where they feel safest and most loved.
6) They remember and miss you between visits
“When is Grandpa coming back?”
If you’re hearing this question regularly, congratulations, you’ve made the favorites list.
My daughter keeps a running list of things to show one particular grandparent. She’ll pick up an interesting rock and announce it’s “for next time Grandma visits.” She draws pictures specifically intended as gifts for certain grandparents. This kind of sustained connection between visits shows you’ve become part of their daily thoughts. occasionally.
The flip side? When favorite grandparents leave, the sadness is real and profound; that quiet, genuine missing that happens when someone important goes away.
7) They open up about their worries and dreams
Perhaps the most telling sign of all: When a child trusts you with their fears and hopes, the stuff they might not even tell their parents.
I’ve overheard conversations between my kids and their grandparents that stop me in my tracks. Deep questions about death, worries about monsters, dreams about becoming astronauts or artists. These vulnerable moments don’t happen with just anyone. Kids have an instinct for who will take their concerns seriously without dismissing them or turning them into teaching moments.
When a grandchild chooses you as their confidant for life’s big questions, you know you’ve achieved something special.
The heart of it all
Being the favorite grandparent is about creating a relationship where a child feels completely seen, heard, and cherished for exactly who they are.
My own parents were skeptical of what they called my “hippie parenting” at first, but watching them find their own way to connect with my kids has been beautiful. They’ve discovered that being a favorite grandparent has nothing to do with expensive gifts or elaborate outings and everything to do with presence, patience, and genuine delight in a child’s company.
If you recognize these signs in your relationship with your grandchildren, treasure them. You’re giving those kids something irreplaceable: The absolute certainty that they are worthy of someone’s complete attention and unconditional love. That’s a gift that will shape how they see themselves for the rest of their lives.
And if you’re not seeing these signs yet? Don’t worry. Every relationship develops at its own pace. Keep showing up, keep listening, keep making space for their stories and feelings. The magic will come.
