Love doesn’t always sound like “I love you.”
Sometimes it looks like a lunchbox packed with your favorite sandwich, or a parent who waited up late just to hear you come home safe.
Growing up, I didn’t fully recognize all the quiet ways love was expressed around me.
My parents weren’t the “mushy” type.
We didn’t say I love you every day, but looking back now—especially as a mom—I see how deeply loved I was.
Here are eight subtle signs that you, too, were raised with love—even if the words were rarely spoken.
1) They showed up—again and again
Maybe they weren’t perfect (who is?), but they kept showing up.
To your games, your plays, your piano recitals.
To the parent-teacher meetings, the doctor’s appointments, the big life moments and the small, forgettable ones.
That consistency matters.
Showing up is the everyday language of love.
Even now, as a parent myself, I see how showing up takes effort—reshuffling schedules, staying awake when you’d rather crash, putting someone else’s needs before your own.
It’s love in motion.
That’s what children remember—the dependable presence that whispers, You matter.
2) They made sure you felt safe
Emotional safety isn’t something kids can define, but they feel it.
It’s that sense that home is steady—that no matter how big the world feels, someone has your back.
Maybe you didn’t have fancy things, but you knew dinner would be on the table and that someone would come when you called out in the night.
That’s love.
As parents, we now realize how much unseen effort goes into creating that safety—budgeting, planning, worrying, holding things together behind the scenes.
When I tuck my own kids into bed, I think about that invisible love my parents carried: all the quiet protecting and planning that kept us steady.
Love isn’t just warmth; it’s structure.
It’s the roof that didn’t leak and the rules that kept you grounded.
3) They let you be yourself
Do you remember feeling like you could be your weird self around them?
Whether you were the kid who wore costumes year-round or read under the table during family dinners, if your parents let you explore who you were—without shaming or forcing you into someone else’s mold—that’s love.
My daughter Ellie, for example, insists on pairing a tutu with rain boots on grocery runs.
And honestly, it takes effort not to redirect her creativity into “something more practical.”
But every time I bite my tongue and let her express herself, I remember what my mom did for me—letting me paint the world in my own colors.
Love makes space. It doesn’t box you in.
It says: You can be you, and I’ll still be here.
4) They listened (even when you didn’t say much)
Think back to the way they noticed things.
Maybe your mom asked if you were okay before you even said a word.
Or your dad just knew when you needed quiet instead of conversation.
That kind of attentiveness doesn’t come from nowhere—it’s built on years of watching, learning, and caring.
Now that I’m the one listening, I get it.
Kids rarely say exactly what they need.
Milo’s “I’m not tired!” is usually code for please hold me until I fall asleep.
I imagine my parents went through the same decoding process—and they kept showing up, listening past the noise.
Being heard is one of the deepest human needs.
It’s love, plain and simple.
5) They made sacrifices you didn’t notice until later
Parents often love in the language of sacrifice.
At the time, it might’ve looked like “rules” or “budgeting,” but it was actually them choosing you over comfort.
I still remember my dad working extra shifts when our car broke down, just so Christmas would still feel magical.
I didn’t grasp the weight of that until adulthood.
Now, as a mom juggling bills, I finally see what that looked like behind the curtain—love written in grocery lists and overtime hours.
6) They taught you kindness (not just manners)
There’s a difference between saying “please” and genuinely caring how others feel.
If your parents modeled empathy—apologizing when they were wrong, checking in on neighbors, or reminding you to think of others—you were learning love in its purest form.
My husband and I try to do this daily with our kids: letting them see us help a stranger load groceries, or sending a note to thank the mail carrier.
Kids imitate what they see, not what they’re told.
If your parents showed kindness to others—even in small ways—they taught you that love isn’t something we only give to family.
It’s something we bring into the world.
As the late Mister Rogers said so beautifully, “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”
If you carry that message in your bones, your upbringing was rooted in love.
7) They respected your boundaries (even before you had the words for them)
Boundaries are love in action.
Think about it: a parent who knocked before entering your room, who respected your “no” during play, who didn’t force affection on relatives you weren’t comfortable with—they were teaching you consent and respect before you even understood those concepts.
That’s emotional intelligence in parenting form.
In my home now, we try to model this by asking before hugging or picking up the kids.
It’s not about making things rigid—it’s about showing that love honors autonomy.
If your parents gave you space when you needed it, they were telling you, Your feelings matter.
You get to decide what feels right for you.
That’s powerful.
Even if they didn’t use words like “boundaries” or “consent,” their actions may have planted that seed early.
8) They believed in you—even when you doubted yourself
Did they ever hand you a sketchbook and say, “Go ahead, try”?
Or remind you that you could handle more than you thought?
Belief is one of love’s boldest forms.
It’s the voice that says, “You can do this,” when your own inner critic screams otherwise.
When I was ten, I was terrified to join the school talent show.
My mom didn’t push, but she quietly left the sign-up form on the table with a note that said, “You don’t have to. But I think you’d shine.”
I didn’t realize it then, but that was her way of saying she believed in me.
That one small act built a ripple of confidence I still draw from.
Now, when Ellie hesitates at something new—climbing the tall slide, reading in front of others—I try to channel that same energy: gentle encouragement without pressure.
Because belief is contagious, and it’s one of the sweetest legacies love can leave behind.
A quiet kind of love
Love isn’t always loud.
It doesn’t always come wrapped in “I love you”s or dramatic gestures.
Sometimes it’s a blanket tucked in tighter, a ride to practice, or the way they remembered how you liked your eggs.
If you recognize even a few of these signs, you probably grew up more loved than you realized.
And maybe now, as adults and parents ourselves, it’s our turn to keep passing on that quiet kind of love—the kind that shows up, listens deeply, and believes fiercely.
Because love doesn’t have to shout to be heard. Sometimes, it just has to stay.
