We usually think of strength as muscles or stamina. But if there’s one thing life has taught me as a mom, it’s that the mind is just as important—if not more.
Raising two little ones, I’ve learned that mental strength isn’t about being “tough” or pretending you never struggle.
It’s about the quiet choices you make day in and day out that build resilience, clarity, and peace of mind.
So let’s get practical. Here are seven things that, if you’re doing them, put you well ahead of most people in terms of mental strength.
1) You set boundaries without guilt
Do you ever feel like saying “no” is the hardest word in the world? You’re not alone. So many of us, especially parents, carry guilt when we set limits.
But strong people know that boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re healthy.
For me, this shows up when I limit playdates or say no to another birthday party because our week already feels too full.
My daughter may pout, and I might feel that twinge of mom-guilt, but protecting family downtime keeps us grounded.
As psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud famously said in Boundaries, “You get what you tolerate.”
When you set boundaries, you’re teaching others how to treat you—and showing your kids how to do the same.
2) You embrace discomfort instead of avoiding it
It’s tempting to dodge anything that feels hard. But every time we avoid discomfort, we also avoid growth. Strong people know this.
They lean into challenges rather than running from them.
I saw this firsthand when I decided to switch my home cleaning products to non-toxic alternatives. At first, it felt overwhelming. Was I overcomplicating life?
But as I pushed through the discomfort, I discovered simple swaps that now feel second nature.
The same principle applies to bigger challenges: hard conversations with loved ones, going back to school, or even tackling personal fears.
Growth rarely comes from comfort.
3) You let go of what you can’t control
There’s so much in life we want to fix—our children’s moods, our partner’s stress levels, the state of the world. But there’s freedom in realizing what isn’t ours to carry.
I practice this daily with my kids. When Ellie (5) insists on wearing her rain boots on a sunny day, I let her. I can guide, but I can’t control every choice.
And often, letting go creates the space for lessons to unfold naturally.
As the serenity prayer reminds us: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
That wisdom is what separates the mentally strong individual from the perpetually anxious.
4) You don’t compare your life to others
Social media has made comparison a constant temptation. Someone else always has the prettier home, the calmer kids, the bigger career.
But mental strength means focusing on your own lane.
I’ve felt it when scrolling Instagram, noticing another mom’s perfect Montessori setup while my son is stacking Tupperware lids.
But then I remind myself: Milo is happy, engaged, and learning. Isn’t that what matters?
Research backs this up too. A 2018 study from the University of Pennsylvania found that limiting social media use to 30 minutes a day significantly reduced depression and loneliness.
Less comparison, more contentment.
5) You allow yourself to feel emotions fully
This one’s big. Mentally strong people don’t bottle up their feelings, nor do they let emotions control every action. They acknowledge, sit with, and then process them.
When I had my second baby, I struggled with overwhelm. I remember crying while folding laundry, thinking, “I should be handling this better.”
But I gave myself permission to feel sad, tired, and anxious without judgment. Naming those feelings out loud to Matt helped me release them rather than suppress them.
As Brené Brown has noted, “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones.”
Strong people understand this—and they choose to feel fully, even when it’s uncomfortable.
6) You practice gratitude regularly
It sounds simple, almost cliché. But gratitude is a muscle that strengthens your mind over time.
People who practice gratitude consistently are more resilient when life gets rocky.
One of my favorite practices is bedtime gratitude with Ellie. Every night, we each share three things we’re thankful for. Sometimes hers are big—“I’m thankful for Grandma visiting.”
Other times they’re small—“I’m thankful for the blueberries at lunch.” Either way, it shifts her focus (and mine) toward abundance.
According to Harvard Health Publishing, gratitude helps people feel more positive, relish good experiences, and deal with adversity more effectively.
It’s like giving your brain a daily vitamin.
7) You keep showing up, even when it’s hard
At the end of the day, mental strength often boils down to persistence. Do you keep going even when progress is slow, or when nobody’s cheering you on?
If yes, you’re part of that rare group who quietly achieve more than most.
I think about this during seasons of parenting exhaustion. The long nights, the tantrums, the endless laundry—there’s no applause.
But showing up consistently with love, even when I’m tired, builds not only my resilience but also my children’s sense of security.
It’s the same with any long-term goal—whether it’s sticking to a healthier diet, writing that book, or nurturing a marriage.
Strong people don’t stop when things get hard. They pace themselves and keep walking forward.
Final thoughts
Mental strength isn’t loud or flashy. It’s not about pretending everything is fine or forcing yourself to “stay positive” no matter what.
Instead, it’s about the quiet, steady choices that shape your inner world.
If you set boundaries, lean into discomfort, let go of what you can’t control, avoid comparison, allow yourself to feel, practice gratitude, and keep showing up—then you’re already ahead of most people.
The good news? These habits aren’t reserved for the lucky few. They’re available to all of us, one intentional choice at a time.
So which of these seven do you see in yourself already—and which one could you start strengthening today?
