Let’s be honest—parenting looks different across generations.
And while technology, culture, and even toys have changed, there’s something quietly timeless about the way many older parents move through family life.
When I talk to parents from my mom’s generation (or even a decade or two ahead of me), I’m often struck by how grounded they seem.
They’re not perfect—none of us are—but their habits often radiate wisdom, calm, and perspective.
Here are things older parents tend to do that younger generations, like mine, can’t help but admire.
1) They trust their instincts more than the noise
Have you noticed how much advice floats around these days? Podcasts, parenting books, social media reels… it’s endless.
But older parents? They didn’t grow up raising kids under a microscope.
They trusted their gut. They paid attention to what worked—not what was trending.
I remember chatting with my neighbor, a mom of four grown kids, as she watered her roses. She said, “Back then, I didn’t have Google telling me fifty ways I was doing it wrong. I just listened to my baby.”
That line stuck with me.
Because the truth is, your intuition is still your best parenting tool. Older parents remind me that while research is helpful, no article or expert knows my child better than I do.
And there’s something liberating about parenting from that quieter place—where decisions come from trust, not from fear of doing it wrong.
2) They don’t rush childhood
Older parents seem to have this beautiful way of letting childhood unfold slowly.
They don’t push every milestone, over-schedule every week, or turn every interest into a future résumé line.
I’ve seen this especially when we visit my parents. They’ll sit for hours on the porch swing with Ellie, just talking about the clouds or counting how many blue jays stop by the feeder.
No one’s rushing to clean up, check an email, or “move on to the next thing.”
Psychologist David Elkind once warned about the “hurried child syndrome,” noting that kids who are constantly pushed to grow up too fast often lose the joy of exploration and self-directed play.
He was right—and many older parents seem to live by the opposite truth: that slowness builds connection.
Letting childhood breathe a little teaches kids that life isn’t something to hurry through. It’s something to be inhabited.
3) They stay calm when things get messy
I’ve yet to meet an older parent who hasn’t seen it all—tantrums, teenage rebellion, sleepless nights, you name it.
But what stands out isn’t that they’ve been through it—it’s how unflappable they seem about it.
I can still picture my grandmother stirring soup while my cousins and I argued over a toy.
She didn’t yell. She didn’t threaten. She simply said, “You’ll sort it out. Dinner’s in ten.”
And somehow, we did.
There’s a kind of steady energy older parents bring—the kind that says, “This too shall pass.”
It’s not that they don’t care. They just know that not every bump needs a lecture, and not every meltdown needs a punishment. Sometimes, kids need calm more than correction.
And that calm is contagious.
When my son Milo starts to unravel at bedtime, I try to channel that same grounded tone—breathing first, speaking second.
Because as any seasoned parent will tell you, kids don’t need us to match their chaos. They need us to anchor it.
4) They value relationships over perfection
Something I deeply admire in many older parents is how they focus on connection more than control.
When I’ve talked to older moms about raising teenagers, they often say things like, “Keep them talking to you—that’s what matters most.”
It’s so true.
In the younger parenting crowd, it’s easy to get caught up in doing things “right”—organic lunches, perfectly timed naps, Montessori shelves all lined up.
But older parents often remind us that a loving, open relationship with our kids lasts longer than any perfect routine.
And that perspective? It softens everything.
As Daniel Siegel notes, “Connection means that we give our kids our attention, that we respect them enough to listen to them.”
When children feel seen and safe, they naturally start to regulate themselves.
Older parents model this intuitively—they choose empathy over ego, relationship over rigidity.
5) They let kids be bored
If you grew up before smartphones, you probably remember long stretches of boredom—summers that felt endless, afternoons spent lying on the floor staring at ceiling patterns.
Guess what? That boredom built creativity.
Older parents understood that “I’m bored” isn’t a problem to fix—it’s an invitation.
My mom used to hand me a mixing bowl and some flour and say, “Make something.” Sometimes it was play dough, sometimes an absolute disaster. But it kept my imagination alive.
Nowadays, with screens and structured activities everywhere, that kind of unstructured time is rare. But older parents show us that creativity blossoms in the quiet moments.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term flow, said that “creativity thrives best when there’s space for curiosity to wander.”
When Ellie says she’s bored, I try to take a cue from those wiser parents: I smile and say, “Good. That means your brain’s about to come up with something wonderful.”
6) They model humility and lifelong learning
Here’s something you’ll notice about the older parents who’ve raised kind, grounded kids: they don’t pretend to have it all figured out.
They’re open to learning—from their mistakes, from their children, from life itself.
A friend of mine’s dad—now a grandfather—once said, “Every kid that comes into your life teaches you a new version of love.” That humility? It’s powerful.
Younger generations often admire that blend of confidence and openness—the ability to say, “I did my best, and I’m still learning.”
Because it takes wisdom to admit that parenting isn’t about mastering control. It’s about growth—for everyone involved.
Even now, I remind myself: I’m not raising perfect kids. I’m raising humans who will watch how I handle imperfection.
And when I get it wrong (which happens often), I circle back. I apologize. I show them that love doesn’t vanish when we make mistakes—it deepens.
7) They prioritize what truly matters
Older parents tend to have an uncanny ability to see what’s worth worrying about—and what isn’t.
They don’t obsess over organic vs. conventional produce debates (though I lean organic when possible), or panic over one skipped nap.
They’ve seen enough life to know what actually matters: health, kindness, family, laughter, and being present.
When I watch my parents play with my kids, I see that clarity in action. They’re not distracted by notifications or chores. They’re here—fully.
It’s something I’m constantly trying to practice myself. Because if there’s one lesson older parents teach best, it’s that love isn’t found in the “doing.” It’s in the being.
The dishes can wait. The moment won’t.
And younger generations feel that truth deeply—we crave that unhurried, wholehearted presence. It’s what our kids crave too.
Final thoughts
The older I get, the more I realize that wisdom in parenting doesn’t come from a perfect routine or the latest research trend—it comes from lived experience, from seasons weathered and love that’s lasted through the messy middle.
Older parents remind us to zoom out—to see the bigger picture beyond tantrums and checklists. They show us how to move through family life with grace, humor, and groundedness.
And maybe that’s why we admire them so much.
Because while the world rushes to make parenting “smarter” and more efficient, they quietly remind us:
It’s not about doing more. It’s about being more present.
Here’s to slowing down, listening in, and parenting with that steady, seasoned calm. The kind that says, “You’ve got this—and it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.”
