Let’s be honest—most of us don’t feel “strong” every day.
Some mornings, strength just means remembering to move the laundry to the dryer before it smells like regret.
But real strength isn’t about how much you can carry—it’s about what you’ve already carried and kept going through anyway.
There are certain life struggles that, if you’ve survived them, quietly change the way you move through the world.
They make you less reactive, more grounded, and a lot harder to shake.
If you’ve walked through even a few of these, trust me—you’re doing better than you think.
Let’s dive in.
1) Starting over when everything fell apart
Maybe it was a breakup that gutted you, a move that left you lonely, or a career shift that forced you to rebuild from scratch.
Whatever it was—you started again.
Starting over isn’t glamorous. It’s messy and humbling.
It’s sitting in a half-packed apartment wondering who you are now that the old chapter has closed.
But it’s also the birthplace of resilience.
I remember when I left my corporate job to stay home with two small kids.
I thought I’d planned it all out—spreadsheets, savings, even color-coded routines.
But no plan prepared me for the identity whiplash of going from managing teams to managing snack time.
For months, I felt invisible.
Until one day, somewhere between laundry cycles and preschool pickups, I realized I’d built something new—a calmer rhythm, a home that ran smoother, a life that felt more mine.
Starting over doesn’t mean you failed. It means you had the courage to reimagine what could come next.
2) Losing someone you love deeply
There’s no resilience quite like the kind that comes from grief.
When you’ve lost someone, you understand that life is both fragile and fierce.
You learn how to carry joy and sorrow in the same heartbeat.
Grief doesn’t fade—it reshapes you.
It strips away the unimportant and sharpens your appreciation for the present.
As author Joan Didion wrote in The Year of Magical Thinking, “Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.”
If you’ve walked through that place and learned to live again—to laugh again, even if softly—you carry a kind of strength that doesn’t show on the surface but radiates quietly.
You’ve learned how to keep living with an open heart, even when it’s cracked.
3) Climbing out of financial hardship
If you’ve ever had to count coins for gas, sell things you loved, or say no to something your child wanted because the math just didn’t work—you know the mix of humility and determination that financial struggle brings.
Money stress touches everything: relationships, sleep, your sense of security.
But it also builds grit.
You learn resourcefulness that can’t be taught.
You start noticing what actually matters—and it’s never the newest gadget or prettiest outfit.
I still remember the early years after Greta was born. Lukas and I lived on one income while I transitioned out of corporate work.
We budgeted down to the cent. I learned how to meal plan like it was a competitive sport and discovered the art of repurposing leftovers into “creative lunches.”
Looking back, those years gave us habits that stuck—gratitude for enough, not excess.
And that mindset, honestly, is one of the strongest financial foundations you can build.
4) Facing mental health challenges head-on
Whether it’s anxiety, depression, burnout, or postpartum struggles—facing your own mind can be one of life’s toughest climbs.
It’s not weakness to admit you’ve struggled.
It’s courage to face what’s inside rather than running from it.
Healing starts with honesty.
There was a season after Emil was born when my world shrank.
The smallest tasks felt enormous. I’d sit on the edge of the bed, paralyzed by the thought of getting both kids dressed and out the door.
I finally told Lukas one night, through tears, “I think I need help.”
That conversation led me to therapy—and slowly, to steadiness again.
If you’ve asked for help, if you’ve done the inner work, if you’ve shown up for yourself on days when your own brain tried to convince you not to—you’re already stronger than most.
5) Learning to set boundaries
Setting boundaries feels uncomfortable at first—it can look like disappointing others, saying no, or walking away from relationships that drain you.
But learning to protect your peace is one of the most powerful skills in adulthood.
It’s how you stop living in reaction mode and start living on purpose.
Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re filters.
They help you decide what gets access to your time, energy, and emotions.
The first time I told a client I couldn’t take a meeting after 5 p.m. because that was family time, I half-expected the world to collapse.
It didn’t.
And now? Dinner time is sacred. That one decision reshaped my evenings—and my sanity.
If you’ve learned to say no without guilt and yes without resentment, you’ve already done the brave work most adults avoid.
6) Navigating parenthood (especially in the messy middle)
Parenthood will show you who you really are faster than anything else.
It exposes your limits, your fears, your triggers—and your capacity for unconditional love.
Let’s be real: parenting isn’t the Pinterest board version.
It’s more like spilled milk, sleepless nights, and reminding small humans to put on socks again.
But if you’ve made it through those early years, or if you’re in the thick of it right now, you’ve earned every bit of strength you have.
Parenthood stretches you in ways no job ever could.
It teaches patience, humility, and the art of letting go—of control, perfection, and your pre-kid idea of “balance.”
It also sharpens perspective.
Suddenly, you realize the small things that once derailed you—missed deadlines, messy kitchens—aren’t life-ending. They’re just… life.
So if you’re surviving the chaos, building routines that mostly work, and finding joy in the cracks between errands and nap schedules—you’re already doing something extraordinary.
7) Forgiving—truly forgiving—someone who hurt you
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what happened.
It means choosing to release the grip that pain has on you. And that takes unbelievable strength.
Whether it’s forgiving a parent who fell short, a friend who betrayed you, or even yourself for past mistakes, letting go frees up emotional energy you didn’t know was trapped.
It’s one of the most mature acts of self-care there is.
I once had a falling-out with a close friend during my early motherhood years.
Words were said that left scars.
For months, every time her name popped up, my stomach knotted.
Then one morning, I realized I was tired of replaying the same story in my head.
I didn’t need to rebuild the friendship—but I did need to stop carrying the resentment.
So I forgave her quietly, in my heart.
No dramatic conversation, no grand gesture.
Just peace.
That peace, more than anything, made me feel powerful again.
As Oprah Winfrey has said, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
Once you do that, the future feels a lot lighter.
Final thoughts
Strength doesn’t always announce itself.
It doesn’t look like perfect calm or polished confidence.
Sometimes it looks like holding it together just enough to get through another Tuesday.
If you’ve faced loss, heartbreak, financial strain, mental health battles, parenthood chaos, or learned to start over and forgive—you’ve already done some of the hardest work life asks of anyone.
And here’s the thing: the goal isn’t to stay strong all the time. It’s to remember you are strong, especially when you don’t feel like it.
Because surviving these struggles doesn’t just make you resilient—it makes you human in the most beautiful way.
So take a breath.
Look at everything you’ve already overcome.
You’re doing better than you think.
