Last weekend at the coffee shop where I usually work, I overheard someone at the next table sharing every detail of their business venture with a near-stranger. Revenue numbers, partner conflicts, future plans. Nothing was off limits.
I found myself cringing into my laptop.
Look, I’m all for authenticity and building genuine connections. But there’s a difference between being real and oversharing everything to everyone. And I’ve learned this the hard way, both in building my writing business and in navigating the sometimes-tricky waters of sharing family life online.
The most successful people I’ve encountered, whether they’re building businesses, raising families, or both, understand something crucial: strategic privacy isn’t about being secretive or fake. It’s about protecting your energy, your relationships, and your growth.
1) Their income and financial details
Money talk makes people uncomfortable for a reason.
When you broadcast your earnings, whether you’re doing well or struggling, you invite unnecessary comparison, judgment, and sometimes resentment.
I learned this when I first started freelance writing and would casually mention my rates or monthly income to other parents. The shift in some friendships was subtle but real.
Successful people keep their financial details private because money is one of the most emotionally charged topics out there. Your college friend doesn’t need to know you’re struggling this month, and your neighbor doesn’t need to know you just landed a huge contract.
This protects both you and your relationships from the weird energy that money conversations can create.
2) Their next big move before it’s solid
There’s something exciting about a new idea, isn’t there? You want to tell everyone.
But here’s what I’ve noticed: the more you talk about what you’re going to do, the less likely you are to actually do it. It’s like your brain gets the satisfaction hit from sharing the plan without having to do the hard work of execution.
When I was planning my transition from teaching to writing full-time, I kept it quiet for months. No announcement posts, no detailed explanations to casual acquaintances. Just me, my laptop, and the slow build during naptime and after bedtime.
According to psychologists, announcing your goals can actually reduce your motivation to achieve them because you’ve already received the social recognition you were seeking.
Share your dreams with your trusted inner circle, sure. But wait until your plans have real legs before broadcasting them widely.
3) Family conflicts and relationship struggles
Every relationship has rough patches. Every family has tension.
The difference is that successful people don’t air these struggles publicly or use them as casual conversation fodder. When Matt and I go through a hard week, and trust me we do, my mom friends don’t get a play-by-play.
This isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about respecting the privacy of the people you love and protecting your relationships from outside opinions and judgments that rarely help.
Venting to one trusted friend is one thing. Posting vague Facebook statuses about “people who don’t appreciate you” or sharing intimate relationship details at a dinner party is another.
Your relationship struggles are between you and the person involved. Period.
4) Their self-doubt and impostor syndrome
Here’s where it gets nuanced.
I’m not saying you should pretend to have it all figured out. That’s exhausting and inauthentic. But there’s a time and place for vulnerability, and it’s not usually in the middle of a professional situation where you need to be seen as capable.
When I pitch new clients or teach workshops at the community center, I don’t lead with “I have no idea what I’m doing and constantly feel like a fraud.” Even though, honestly, I sometimes feel that way.
Successful people process their self-doubt privately or with trusted mentors. They don’t broadcast their insecurities to everyone they meet because they understand that confidence is partly about how others perceive you, and that perception affects opportunities.
Work through your impostor syndrome with a therapist, a close friend, or in your journal. But in professional contexts, lead with your competence.
5) Other people’s secrets and private information
This one should be obvious, but apparently it needs saying.
If someone confides in you, whether it’s a friend sharing a struggle, a client revealing business details, or a family member trusting you with sensitive information, that’s not your story to tell. Ever.
I’ve watched friendships implode because someone couldn’t keep information to themselves. The fastest way to lose trust and damage your reputation is to be known as someone who can’t keep their mouth shut.
Brené Brown puts it perfectly in her work on boundaries: “You share with people who have earned the right to hear your story.” And part of earning that right yourself is proving you won’t pass along what others have shared with you.
6) Their good deeds and charitable acts
There’s something that happens when you help someone and then tell everyone about it. The act transforms from genuine generosity into something that feels more like self-promotion.
Successful people do kind things without needing public recognition. They donate, volunteer, and help others quietly because the act itself is the reward, not the social media post about it.
I’m not talking about sharing resources or raising awareness for causes. That’s different. I’m talking about the humble-brag posts about how you helped the homeless person or donated to so-and-so’s fundraiser.
When you keep your good deeds private, you preserve the purity of the act and avoid the trap of performing generosity for external validation.
7) The full details of their daily routine and schedule
This one surprised me when I first started noticing it.
The most successful and centered people I know don’t broadcast their every move. They’re not checking in at every location, sharing their morning routine in real-time, or posting their kids’ school drop-off schedules.
There are practical safety reasons for this, obviously. But there’s also something about maintaining a bit of mystery and privacy around your daily life that protects your energy.
When I stopped feeling obligated to document everything, where I was working that day, what the kids were doing, what I was making for dinner, I felt lighter. Less performed. More present.
Your daily life doesn’t need an audience.
8) Their past mistakes and failures, at inappropriate times
There’s a time to share your growth story, and there’s a time to leave the past in the past.
Successful people understand this distinction. They don’t hide their failures or pretend they’ve never messed up. But they also don’t bring up every mistake they’ve ever made in situations where it’s not relevant or helpful.
I’ve made plenty of parenting decisions I’d handle differently now. I’ve had professional missteps and personal failures. But I don’t lead every conversation with my mistakes or use them as constant conversation topics.
Share your failure stories when they’re genuinely helpful. When mentoring someone who needs to hear it, when the timing is right, when you’ve processed it enough to offer real wisdom. Not as self-deprecation or as a way to deflect from current success.
Final thoughts
Learning what to keep private has been one of the most valuable lessons in my journey from teacher to writer to business builder.
It’s not about being fake or closed off. It’s about being intentional with your energy, protecting what matters, and understanding that not everything needs to be shared to be real.
Some things are meant to be held close. Processed privately, shared selectively, or simply lived without needing validation from an audience.
And honestly, there’s something powerful about having parts of your life that are just yours.
