You know that moment when you hear your own mother’s words coming out of your mouth and you freeze?
Last week, I caught myself telling Ellie to “go play outside, the fresh air will do you good,” and suddenly I was transported back to being eight years old, rolling my eyes at the exact same advice.
Growing up as the middle child, sandwiched between an overachieving older brother and a baby sister who could do no wrong, I spent years collecting what I thought was outdated wisdom from my boomer parents.
Their advice seemed so disconnected from modern life, especially once I discovered attachment parenting and all things natural living.
But here’s the thing: Now that I’m knee-deep in the beautiful chaos of raising two little ones, I keep discovering that maybe, just maybe, they knew what they were talking about.
1) “Kids need to be bored sometimes”
Remember when summer meant long stretches of nothing? My mom would shoo us outside with zero planned activities, and when we complained about being bored, she’d just shrug and say we’d figure something out.
Back then, I thought she was being lazy or didn’t understand how important structured activities were for development.
Fast forward to now, and I see what happens when kids never experience boredom. Last month, I deliberately didn’t plan anything for a Saturday afternoon.
No crafts, no nature walks, nothing. At first, my five-year-old wandered around dramatically sighing. But within an hour? She’d created an entire fairy village from sticks and leaves, complete with elaborate backstories for each resident.
Boredom breeds creativity. When we constantly entertain our kids or hand them screens the second they’re restless, we rob them of the chance to discover their own imagination.
My parents weren’t being neglectful; they were giving us space to become resourceful.
2) “Not everyone needs to be your friend”
This one used to drive me crazy. Whenever I’d come home upset about playground politics, my dad would say this while barely looking up from his newspaper.
It felt so dismissive, especially coming from parents who kept their social circle small and conversations surface-level even at our nightly family dinners.
But watching my daughter navigate preschool friendships? I finally get it. She doesn’t need to chase after kids who aren’t kind to her. She doesn’t need everyone to like her. What she needs is to recognize her worth isn’t determined by how many birthday parties she’s invited to.
The pressure to be universally liked is exhausting, and teaching kids early that it’s okay to have boundaries around friendship is actually liberating. Quality over quantity isn’t just for Instagram captions; it’s genuine wisdom about human connection.
3) “Money doesn’t grow on trees”
Oh, how I hated this phrase. Every single time I asked for something, out it came. My mother, who made everything from scratch partly out of frugality, would say it while kneading bread or mending clothes. I swore I’d never use such a tired cliche with my own kids.
Yet here I am, finding creative ways to teach the same lesson.
When my daughter wants the fifth stuffed animal at the farmers market, or when she doesn’t understand why we can’t buy all organic everything all the time, I realize my parents were teaching something crucial: The value of money and the importance of thoughtful consumption.
They weren’t being cheap. They were teaching gratitude, patience, and the difference between wants and needs. In our instant-gratification culture, these lessons feel more relevant than ever.
4) “Go outside and play”
This was their solution to everything. Cranky? Go outside. Hyper? Go outside. Bored? You guessed it. As a teen, I thought they just wanted us out of their hair. Why couldn’t they understand that we were perfectly happy inside?
Now I’m the one practically shoving my kids out the door, and the transformation is immediate. Bad moods evaporate. Energy gets channeled productively. Creativity flourishes.
There’s something about fresh air and natural light that no amount of indoor sensory bins can replicate.
The research on nature deficit disorder wasn’t around when my parents were raising us, but they instinctively knew what screens and indoor living could do to kids. Their constant refrain wasn’t laziness; it was wisdom.
5) “Because I said so”
This one’s controversial, I know. In my attachment-parenting world, we’re supposed to explain everything, validate feelings, and give reasons. And I do, most of the time. But sometimes? Sometimes “because I said so” is exactly the right answer.
Not every parenting decision needs a lengthy explanation. Not every rule needs to be justified to a three-year-old’s satisfaction.
Sometimes, especially around safety or when you’re touched out and exhausted, a simple “because I said so” sets a boundary that kids actually need.
My parents understood something I’m just learning: Being the authority figure isn’t mean or dismissive. It’s providing security through clear leadership. Kids don’t need us to be their friends; they need us to be their parents.
6) “You get what you get and you don’t get upset”
My anxious mother would recite this like a mantra whenever we complained about unfairness. Your sister got the bigger cookie? You get what you get. Your brother’s birthday presents seem better? You get what you get.
Initially, I thought this was just conflict avoidance from parents who preferred keeping peace to addressing problems. But now I see the gift in this philosophy.
Life isn’t fair. It never will be. Teaching kids to find contentment with what they have, rather than constantly comparing and complaining, is revolutionary in our social media age.
When my two-year-old melts down because his sister’s snack looks better, I hear my mother’s voice. And you know what? It works. It teaches resilience, gratitude, and the ability to find joy without perfect circumstances.
7) “Family comes first”
Every decision in our house growing up was filtered through this lens. Miss a friend’s party for cousin’s graduation? Family comes first. Cancel plans because grandma needs help? Family comes first.
I used to think this was suffocating and old-fashioned. Why should blood relations automatically trump everything else?
But now, building my own family unit, I understand the security this provides children. It’s not about blind loyalty or toxic obligation. It’s about having an anchor, a safe harbor, people who will show up no matter what.
In a world where everything feels temporary and disposable, teaching kids that some bonds are meant to be prioritized and protected is actually radical.
The wisdom of hindsight
Here’s what I’ve learned: Our parents weren’t perfect. Mine certainly weren’t, with their surface-level conversations and anxiety that hummed beneath our seemingly normal family dinners.
But they understood some fundamental truths about raising humans that we’ve complicated with too much information and overthinking.
My parents are slowly coming around to my “hippie parenting” ways, just as I’m coming around to their old-school wisdom. Maybe that’s the real lesson here.
Good parenting isn’t about following one rigid philosophy. It’s about taking the best from each generation, adapting it to your reality, and being humble enough to admit when you were wrong.
Every time I catch myself spouting their advice, I smile a little. Turns out, some wisdom never goes out of style. It just takes having your own kids to finally understand why.
