You know that feeling when you’re dropping your kid off at school and the teacher gives you that polite smile while you’re explaining why homework isn’t done again? I used to be on the receiving end of those explanations.
Seven years in a kindergarten classroom taught me that teachers have a mental list of things they desperately want parents to stop doing, but they’ll never actually say them out loud.
After transitioning from teaching to writing when my daughter was born, I finally feel free to spill the tea.
These are the things my teacher friends and I would vent about during lunch breaks, the stuff we’d text each other about after particularly challenging parent interactions, and the habits that made our jobs infinitely harder than they needed to be.
Here’s what teachers everywhere are thinking but are way too professional to tell you directly.
1) Doing your kid’s homework and projects
We know. We always know. That perfectly typed essay from your eight-year-old? The science fair project that looks like it belongs in a museum? Dead giveaways.
I once had a kindergartener bring in a “self-portrait” that looked suspiciously like it was drawn by someone with fully developed fine motor skills.
When you complete your child’s work, you’re robbing them of learning opportunities and sending the message that they’re not capable.
Plus, it makes it impossible for teachers to assess what your child actually understands. We need to see where they’re struggling so we can help them.
That wonky solar system model your kid makes on their own teaches them more than the Pinterest-perfect version you stayed up until midnight creating.
2) Making excuses for everything
- “He didn’t sleep well.”
- “She had a big breakfast and that’s why she’s acting out.”
- “His sister was mean to him this morning.”
Look, I get it. As a parent myself now, I understand the instinct to protect and defend. But when every single behavioral issue or missed assignment comes with an elaborate excuse, it prevents kids from developing accountability.
Teachers need kids to understand that actions have consequences. When parents constantly provide escape routes, children never learn to take responsibility for their choices.
A simple “We’ll work on this at home” goes so much further than a list of reasons why it’s not really their fault.
3) Undermining the teacher in front of your child
This one really stung when I was teaching. I’d implement a consequence or make a decision, and then at pickup, I’d hear parents loudly declaring that the teacher was wrong or unfair.
Kids are listening to everything, and when you criticize their teacher within earshot, you’re destroying the authority that teacher needs to effectively manage a classroom of 25 kids.
If you disagree with something, absolutely advocate for your child. But do it privately, through email or a scheduled meeting. Your child needs to see you and their teacher as a team, not opponents.
4) Treating teachers like customer service representatives
Education isn’t retail, and teachers aren’t there to provide customer satisfaction. I can’t count the number of times parents demanded grade changes like they were negotiating a refund at Target.
“But we pay taxes!” Yes, and teachers are educated professionals, not service workers catering to your demands.
When parents approach teachers as equals working together for the child’s benefit rather than as service providers, the whole dynamic shifts.
Teachers have master’s degrees, continuing education requirements, and years of experience. Trust their professional judgment the way you’d trust your pediatrician.
5) Ignoring communication until there’s a problem
Those newsletters, emails, and apps teachers use? They’re not just digital clutter. I used to spend hours crafting weekly updates, only to have parents claim they had no idea about the field trip, the test, or the project due date.
Then when their child struggled, suddenly they wanted daily updates and immediate responses.
Teachers are managing dozens of families. When you only engage during crisis mode while ignoring regular communication, it’s frustrating and frankly unfair. Read the emails. Check the folders. Sign up for the apps. A little prevention saves everyone stress later.
6) Sending your sick kid to school
This one became even more obvious after I left teaching. “Just a little sniffle” means something different when you’re managing a classroom where illness spreads like wildfire.
I volunteered at library story time last week and watched a clearly feverish child coughing on everything while their parent browsed books.
Teachers don’t have unlimited sick days, and when one bug tears through a classroom, it affects everyone’s learning.
That “powered through” attitude might work in your home office, but in a classroom of young kids who don’t cover their coughs and share everything, it’s a disaster. Keep them home. Please.
7) Bypassing the teacher and going straight to administration
Unless there’s a serious safety concern, going over the teacher’s head immediately is like calling corporate before talking to the store manager. It damages relationships and often makes resolving issues harder, not easier.
Most teachers want to work with you. They went into education because they care about kids. But when you skip them entirely and complain to the principal about something you never even discussed with them, it breaks trust.
Start with the teacher. Give them a chance to address your concerns. Nine times out of ten, you’ll resolve things faster and maintain a positive relationship.
8) Expecting instant responses to non-urgent communications
Teachers don’t stop existing when the school day ends. They have their own families, obligations, and need for downtime. Yet some parents send emails at 10 PM and expect responses before morning, or text on weekends about non-emergencies.
When I was teaching, I’d get messages about forgotten lunch money while I was at my own child’s soccer game, or questions about assignments during Sunday dinner with my family.
Teachers need boundaries. If it’s not urgent, it can wait until school hours. They’re already taking work home to grade and plan; they don’t need to be on call 24/7 too.
The bottom line
After seven years in the classroom and now watching from the parent side, I see how hard both roles are. Teachers want to support your child’s success, but they need parents to be partners, not obstacles.
These aren’t unreasonable requests; they’re basic professional boundaries and common-sense approaches that benefit everyone, especially the kids.
The next time you’re tempted to fire off that defensive email or finish that science project, remember that teachers are doing incredibly difficult work with limited resources and immense pressure.
They’re shaping the next generation while managing countless personalities, learning styles, and yes, parent expectations.
Work with them, not against them. Trust their expertise. Respect their time and professional judgment. And maybe, just maybe, read those weekly newsletters. Your child’s teacher will silently thank you, even if they’re too polite to say it out loud.
