Every generation thinks the one after them is doing it all wrong.
Boomer grandparents look at their Gen X kids raising children and shake their heads in confusion.
It’s not that Gen X parents are actually doing things wrong. They’re just doing them differently, based on new information, changed values, and their own experiences growing up.
But to Boomers who raised kids one way and saw them turn out fine, these new approaches can seem unnecessary, overly complicated, or just plain strange.
Here are nine things Gen X parents do that leave their Boomer parents completely baffled.
1) Apologizing to their children
When Gen X parents lose their temper, make a mistake, or handle something poorly, they often apologize to their kids. They say it clearly: “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry.”
To Boomer grandparents, this is incomprehensible. Parents are authority figures. You don’t apologize to children because it undermines your position and makes you seem weak.
But Gen X parents see it differently. They believe modeling accountability and showing that adults make mistakes too is healthy. That apologizing teaches children what repair looks like and that no one is above making amends.
Boomers worry this erodes respect. Gen X parents believe it builds trust.
2) Explaining the reasoning behind rules
“Because I said so” was the standard Boomer response to questions about rules. The reason didn’t matter. Obedience did.
Gen X parents explain their reasoning. They tell their kids why bedtime matters, why certain foods are limited, why rules exist. They want their children to understand the logic, not just comply blindly.
Boomer grandparents find this exhausting and unnecessary. Children don’t need to understand everything. They need to listen and obey.
Gen X parents counter that children who understand reasoning are more likely to internalize values rather than just following rules out of fear. That critical thinking matters more than blind obedience.
This generational difference shows up constantly, with Boomers frustrated by all the explanation and Gen X parents frustrated by the expectation of unquestioning compliance.
3) Validating feelings instead of dismissing them
When a child is upset, Gen X parents often say things like “I can see you’re really frustrated” or “It’s okay to feel sad about that.” They acknowledge the emotion before addressing the behavior or situation.
Boomer grandparents tend to respond with “you’re fine” or “it’s not that bad” or “stop crying.” They see big emotions as something to minimize or fix, not validate.
To Boomers, Gen X’s approach seems like coddling. You’re making kids more emotional by giving feelings so much attention. Kids need to toughen up, not be told every feeling is valid.
Gen X parents argue that emotional validation teaches kids to trust their feelings and process emotions healthily. That dismissing feelings doesn’t make them go away, it just teaches kids to suppress them.
The gap here is fundamental. Boomers value emotional toughness. Gen X values emotional intelligence.
4) Having conversations about consent and body autonomy
Gen X parents often let their kids refuse hugs or kisses, even from family. They teach concepts like “your body, your choice” and ask permission before physical affection.
Boomer grandparents think this is ridiculous. Requiring a child to hug grandma isn’t violating their rights, it’s teaching respect and manners. Kids don’t get to decide whether they show affection to family.
But Gen X parents believe teaching bodily autonomy early is important. That children should learn they have agency over their own bodies and that affection shouldn’t be forced or coerced.
When a Boomer grandparent demands a hug and the Gen X parent backs their child’s refusal, conflict often follows. Boomers feel disrespected. Gen X parents feel they’re protecting important boundaries.
5) Limiting sugar and processed foods
Gen X parents often have rules about food that Boomers find extreme. No juice boxes, limited sugar, concerns about artificial ingredients, reading labels carefully.
Boomer grandparents grew up in an era where food was food. Kids ate what was served. Sugar was a normal part of childhood. All this scrutiny seems neurotic and controlling.
They want to give their grandkids treats and feel criticized when Gen X parents push back. They see it as taking the fun out of childhood and being overly anxious about things that were never problems before.
Gen X parents point to rising childhood obesity, ADHD concerns, and new understanding about nutrition. They’re making informed choices based on information that wasn’t available when Boomers were raising kids.
Boomers think Gen X is overthinking it. Gen X thinks Boomers are being dismissive of legitimate concerns.
6) Setting limits on screen time and devices
Gen X parents often have strict rules about screens. Limited TV, no tablets at dinner, restricted phone access, concerns about social media and video games.
Boomer grandparents find this ironic since Gen X kids were raised on TV and turned out fine. Why all the rules about something harmless?
They want to let grandkids watch shows or play games and don’t understand why Gen X parents are so rigid about it. It seems like unnecessary restriction of innocent fun.
Gen X parents see smartphones and unlimited streaming as fundamentally different from the limited TV options of their childhood. They worry about addiction, attention spans, exposure to inappropriate content, and social media’s impact on mental health.
Boomers see restriction. Gen X sees protection.
7) Talking openly about mental health
Gen X parents discuss anxiety, depression, therapy, and mental health as normal topics. They recognize when their kids are struggling emotionally and seek professional help without shame.
Boomer grandparents often think this generation is overdiagnosing normal childhood experiences. Everyone gets nervous or sad sometimes. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong that requires therapy.
To Boomers, the constant mental health talk seems like making kids more fragile. Teaching them that every difficulty is a disorder rather than something to work through.
Gen X parents argue that ignoring mental health doesn’t make problems go away. That early intervention prevents worse issues later. That therapy is healthcare, not weakness.
This gap reflects fundamentally different views on whether mental health struggles are real medical issues or character problems to overcome through willpower.
8) Sharing parenting responsibilities equally
Gen X fathers are much more involved in daily childcare than Boomer fathers typically were. They do bedtime routines, handle sick days, manage schedules, pack lunches, go to school events.
Boomer grandparents, especially grandfathers, often find this strange. Fathers are supposed to work and provide. Mothers handle the daily care. That’s how families function.
When they see their Gen X sons doing what they consider “mom tasks,” they make comments about being whipped or joke about role reversal. They genuinely don’t understand why fathers would want to be this involved.
Gen X parents see equal partnership and involved fatherhood as progress. Boomers see it as men doing women’s work and women not handling their responsibilities.
The generational divide here reflects massive cultural shifts in gender roles that Boomers may acknowledge intellectually but still find uncomfortable in practice.
9) Letting kids have input in family decisions
Gen X parents often include children in age-appropriate decision making. Where to go on vacation, what to have for dinner, how to spend weekend time. Kids get a voice, if not a final vote.
Boomer grandparents think this is absurd. Parents make decisions. Children follow them. Giving kids too much say creates entitled brats who think the world revolves around them.
But Gen X parents believe including children in decisions teaches them thinking skills, helps them feel valued, and prepares them for independence. They’re not letting kids run the household, they’re giving them appropriate input.
Boomers see permissiveness. Gen X sees respect.
Conclusion
These generational differences aren’t about one side being right and the other being wrong. They reflect different values, different information, and different cultural contexts.
Boomers raised their kids with the best information and values they had at the time. Gen X is doing the same with current understanding.
The frustration on both sides is real. Boomers feel their experience and wisdom are being dismissed. Gen X parents feel judged and undermined when trying to parent according to their values.
The key is recognizing that different doesn’t mean wrong. Gen X parents aren’t rejecting everything their parents did. They’re building on it, adjusting for new information, and making choices based on their own experiences.
Boomer grandparents don’t need to agree with every Gen X parenting choice. But they can respect that their adult children are thoughtfully raising their own kids based on what they believe is best.
And Gen X parents can extend grace to grandparents who are doing their best to adapt to parenting approaches that contradict everything they knew and practiced.
The kids caught in the middle benefit most when the generations can disagree respectfully and support each other despite different approaches.
That’s harder than it sounds. But it’s worth working toward.
