You know what’s funny? We spend most of our lives thinking we have all the time in the world. Then one day you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize those decades you thought were stretched out in front of you have somehow slipped through your fingers.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. At sixty-something, I’m not quite in my seventies yet, but I’m close enough to have plenty of friends who’ve crossed that threshold. And let me tell you, the conversations have gotten more honest, more raw, and sometimes more painful.
What strikes me most is how similar their regrets are. It’s like there’s this universal checklist of missed opportunities that hits most of us around the same time.
So today, I want to share what I’ve heard—not to depress you, but to give you a heads-up while there’s still time to course-correct.
1) Not prioritizing relationships over career success
Here’s something I hear constantly from folks in their seventies: “I wish I’d worked less.”
Sounds simple, right? But the reality is much more complex and painful. It’s not just about the hours logged at the office. It’s about the school plays missed, the family dinners skipped, the conversations that never happened because someone was too tired or stressed from work.
One of my closest friends recently told me he barely knows his adult children. “They were kids when I left for work and asleep when I got home,” he said. “Now they’re strangers who happen to share my last name.”
That hit me hard.
The thing is, our generation was sold a specific dream: work hard, climb the ladder, provide financially, and everything else will fall into place. But financial security doesn’t hug you back. It doesn’t call to check in. It doesn’t create memories.
If you’re still in the thick of your career right now, ask yourself: will you remember that extra project you took on, or will you remember the time you spent with people you love?
2) Letting fear dictate major life decisions
“I should have taken that job overseas.”
“I should have started that business.”
“I should have moved to the city I always dreamed about.”
The number of times I’ve heard variations of these statements is staggering. And they all stem from the same root: fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of financial instability. Fear of looking foolish.
I get it—I really do. When you’ve got a mortgage, kids to feed, and responsibilities piling up, playing it safe feels like the mature choice.
But here’s what people in their seventies are telling me: that “safe” path often leads to a lifetime of wondering “what if?”
The truth is, most of the catastrophes we imagine never actually happen. And even when things don’t work out perfectly, we tend to regret inaction more than action.
3) Not taking care of their health sooner
This one’s tough to hear, but it needs to be said.
So many people I know are dealing with health issues in their seventies that could have been prevented—or at least minimized—with better choices in their forties, fifties, and sixties.
“I thought I was invincible,” one friend told me while managing his diabetes medication. “I figured I’d start eating better and exercising later. Well, later is now, and I’m paying the price.”
Our bodies are remarkably forgiving when we’re young. You can skip sleep, eat poorly, avoid exercise, and still feel relatively okay. But that debt comes due eventually, and the interest is brutal.
I’m talking about more than just physical health too. Mental health, stress management, emotional well-being—these all matter. Ignoring them doesn’t make problems go away; it just lets them compound.
The people who seem happiest in their seventies? They’re the ones who treated their bodies like they actually planned to live in them long-term.
4) Caring too much about other people’s opinions
Picture this: you’re at a dinner party, and someone asks what you wanted to be when you were younger.
How many people actually pursued that dream? And how many abandoned it because someone—a parent, a teacher, a well-meaning friend—told them it wasn’t practical?
We spend an enormous amount of energy managing other people’s perceptions of us. We choose careers to impress relatives. We buy houses we can’t afford to keep up with neighbors. We stay in situations that make us miserable because we’re worried about what people will think if we leave.
But nobody’s actually paying that much attention to your life. They’re too busy worrying about their own.
“I spent forty years trying to live up to my father’s expectations,” a former colleague told me. “He’s been gone for fifteen years now, and I’m still living a life he designed for me. What a waste.”
That’s heartbreaking. And unfortunately, it’s not uncommon.
The opinions that seemed so important at thirty feel absurd at seventy. The question is, will you figure that out in time to do something about it?
5) Not expressing their true feelings to loved ones
How many times have you wanted to tell someone you loved them, appreciated them, or were proud of them—and then just… didn’t?
We’re taught, especially men of my generation, that emotions are something to be managed, controlled, kept private. “Actions speak louder than words,” we tell ourselves. And sure, actions matter. But words matter too.
I can’t tell you how many people have told me they never heard their father say “I love you.” Or that they wish they’d told their mother how much she meant to them before she passed. Or that they left important things unsaid with siblings, friends, or partners, and now it’s too late.
These regrets cut deep because they’re about missed connections, about walls we built that didn’t need to be there.
One friend put it this way: “I thought showing up was enough. I thought providing was enough. I didn’t realize my kids needed to hear the words too.”
It’s such a simple thing, really. Tell people how you feel. Express gratitude. Admit when you’re wrong. Say “I love you” more often. These aren’t signs of weakness—they’re actually what connection is built on.
6) Not pursuing passions and hobbies
“What do you do for fun?”
It’s a simple question, but you’d be surprised how many people in their seventies struggle to answer it. Because somewhere along the way, they stopped making time for the things that brought them joy.
Maybe it was a musical instrument they used to play. Or painting. Or woodworking. Or writing. Whatever it was, “real life” got in the way. There were bills to pay, families to raise, responsibilities to handle. Hobbies felt like luxuries they couldn’t afford.
But here’s the thing: those passions aren’t luxuries. They’re what make life worth living.
I watch my grandchildren throw themselves into their interests with complete abandon, and I think about how many adults have forgotten how to do that. When did we decide that joy was something we’d get around to later?
Later comes faster than you think. And when you’re in your seventies looking back, all those excuses about being too busy or too tired ring pretty hollow.
The people who seem most fulfilled now? They’re the ones who made space for creativity, for play, for activities that had nothing to do with productivity or accomplishment. They did things just because those things made them happy.
7) Not making peace with the past
This might be the most painful regret of all.
Holding grudges. Nurturing resentments. Refusing to forgive—whether it’s forgiving others or forgiving yourself. These are weights we carry for decades, often without even realizing how heavy they’ve become.
I’ve got a friend who hasn’t spoken to his brother in over twenty years. Something about an inheritance dispute after their mother passed. And now? “I can barely remember what we were fighting about,” he told me. “But I remember we’re fighting, so I keep doing it.”
How exhausting must that be?
The same goes for beating yourself up over past mistakes. We all have things we wish we’d done differently. Relationships we mishandled. Opportunities we squandered. Moments we wish we could take back.
But at a certain point, you have to decide: are you going to let those things define you, or are you going to learn from them and move forward?
Final thoughts
Look, I’m sharing this not to make anyone feel bad, but because we still have time.
Want to strengthen those relationships? Pick up the phone today. Want to pursue a passion? Start small, start now. Want to take better care of yourself? That decision begins with the next meal, the next walk, the next good night’s sleep.
The question I’ll leave you with is this: when you’re in your seventies looking back on your life, what do you want to see? And more importantly, what are you willing to do about it today?
