Ever notice how some people seem to struggle with empathy in conversations? They’ll interrupt you mid-sentence, dismiss your feelings, or somehow always bring the conversation back to themselves.
I used to think this was just bad manners. But after years of studying psychology and observing human behavior, I’ve discovered something fascinating: Many of these behaviors trace back to whether someone grew up reading books.
The research is pretty compelling. Studies show that people who didn’t develop a reading habit in childhood often display certain behavioral patterns as adults – and most have no idea they’re doing it.
Today, we’re diving into seven specific behaviors that psychology links to a lack of early reading. If you recognize these in yourself or others, don’t worry – awareness is the first step to change.
1) They struggle to see other perspectives
Here’s something I learned during my psychology degree that still blows my mind: Reading fiction literally rewires your brain to understand other people better.
When you read a novel, you’re stepping into someone else’s shoes, experiencing their thoughts, feelings, and motivations. You’re practicing perspective-taking without even realizing it.
People who missed out on this mental exercise often find it harder to understand viewpoints that differ from their own. They might dismiss opposing opinions quickly or struggle to grasp why someone would feel differently about a situation.
I’ve seen this play out countless times in conversations. Someone will share a problem they’re facing, and instead of trying to understand their perspective, the other person immediately jumps to “Well, I would never do that” or “That’s not how I see it.”
The thing is, they’re not trying to be dismissive. Their brain simply hasn’t had as much practice switching between different mental frameworks.
2) They have limited emotional vocabulary
Books expose us to thousands of ways to describe feelings. Instead of just “sad,” we learn words like melancholic, despondent, wistful, or heartbroken. Each word carries its own subtle shade of meaning.
Without this exposure, many people struggle to articulate their emotions beyond basic terms like happy, sad, or angry. This isn’t just about vocabulary – it actually affects emotional intelligence.
In my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how Buddhist texts use incredibly nuanced language to describe mental states. This precision helps practitioners understand and work with their emotions more effectively.
When you can’t name what you’re feeling, you can’t properly process it. You might feel a complex mix of disappointment and relief, but without the words to express it, you’re stuck with “I feel weird.”
This limitation often leads to emotional outbursts or shutting down completely because the person literally doesn’t have the tools to communicate what’s happening inside them.
3) They prefer simple solutions to complex problems
Reading, especially non-fiction and literary fiction, trains your brain to hold multiple ideas simultaneously and see how they connect.
You learn that characters have mixed motivations, that problems rarely have perfect solutions, and that life exists in shades of gray rather than black and white.
People who didn’t develop this cognitive flexibility often gravitate toward oversimplified explanations. They might believe that all relationship problems stem from “communication issues” or that success is just about “working hard.”
Don’t get me wrong – simple solutions have their place. But life’s biggest challenges usually require nuanced thinking.
I noticed this pattern clearly when I started writing about personal development. Readers who grew up with books appreciated exploring the complexity of human behavior. Others wanted quick fixes and got frustrated when I explained that real change takes time and involves multiple factors.
4) They struggle with delayed gratification
Think about what reading requires. You invest hours following a story, waiting chapters or even entire books for payoffs. You learn that the best rewards often come after patience and persistence.
Without this training, many adults struggle with anything that doesn’t provide immediate results. They might abandon goals quickly, jump from hobby to hobby, or make impulsive decisions without considering long-term consequences.
This shows up everywhere – from financial decisions to relationships to career choices. They might rack up credit card debt for instant purchases, end relationships at the first sign of conflict, or quit jobs the moment things get challenging.
The ability to delay gratification is one of the strongest predictors of success in life. And reading is one of the earliest ways children learn this crucial skill.
5) They have difficulty with abstract thinking
Books constantly ask us to imagine things that aren’t physically present. Whether it’s visualizing a dragon, understanding a metaphor, or grasping philosophical concepts, reading exercises our abstract thinking muscles.
People who didn’t grow up reading often prefer concrete, tangible concepts. They might struggle with hypothetical scenarios, have trouble understanding symbolism, or find philosophical discussions pointless.
In conversations, they’ll often say things like “Let’s stick to the facts” or “I don’t see the point of what-if questions.” They’re not being difficult – abstract thinking genuinely feels uncomfortable or unnecessary to them.
This limitation can affect problem-solving abilities, creativity, and even humor comprehension. Many jokes rely on abstract connections, which is why some people consistently miss punchlines that seem obvious to others.
6) They show less patience for detailed explanations
When you grow up reading, you develop stamina for processing information. You learn to follow complex arguments, track multiple plot lines, and piece together clues over time.
Without this practice, many adults have remarkably short attention spans for anything that requires sustained focus. They might interrupt lengthy explanations, skim important documents, or make decisions based on headlines rather than full articles.
I explore this concept extensively in Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, particularly how Buddhist meditation practices can help rebuild this lost attention capacity.
In our fast-paced, TikTok-driven world, this tendency has only gotten worse. But for those who never developed reading habits, the struggle started long before social media came along.
They’re not lazy or unintelligent. Their brains simply haven’t been trained to sustain attention on complex information for extended periods.
7) They rely heavily on personal experience over broader knowledge
Books expose us to thousands of lives, cultures, time periods, and perspectives. We learn from others’ mistakes, understand historical patterns, and see how universal certain human experiences are.
Without this exposure, people often believe their personal experience represents universal truth. They’ll make sweeping statements based on limited data: “All bosses are like that” or “That’s just how relationships work.”
They might dismiss scientific studies or expert opinions if they conflict with personal experience. “I don’t care what the research says, I know what worked for me.”
This isn’t arrogance – it’s simply the natural result of having a smaller reference pool to draw from. When your own life is your primary data source, of course it seems like the most reliable one.
Final words
Recognizing these behaviors isn’t about judgment or feeling superior. We all have gaps in our development, and many successful, intelligent people display some or all of these traits.
The beautiful thing is that it’s never too late to start reading. Your brain remains plastic throughout life, capable of forming new neural pathways and developing new capabilities.
If you recognized yourself in some of these behaviors, consider picking up a book. Start with something that genuinely interests you – it doesn’t have to be classic literature. Even reading for 20 minutes a day can begin rewiring your brain in profound ways.
And if you know someone who displays these behaviors? Share a book recommendation. You might just change their life.
