Remember when our parents would send us outside after breakfast with nothing but a “be home by dinner”? Last week, I watched a mom at the park literally following her 8-year-old around with hand sanitizer and a first aid kit, and it hit me just how much childhood has changed.
Growing up as a middle child in a small Midwest town, my days looked nothing like what my kids experience now.
My parents were pretty traditional and strict about certain things, but when it came to independence? We had freedoms that would probably get someone reported to child services today.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, especially as I try to balance keeping my little ones safe while still giving them room to grow.
The truth is, what passed for normal parenting in the 70s would make most of us break out in a cold sweat now. Here are some things our parents let us do that seem absolutely wild by today’s standards.
1) Walking to school alone at age 6
Can you imagine sending your kindergartener off to walk a mile to school by themselves? My older brother started walking me to school when he was 8 and I was 6, and by first grade, I was doing it solo.
Rain or shine, we’d trek through neighborhoods, cross busy streets, and maybe stop to pet a dog or two along the way.
These days, I drive my 5-year-old the four blocks to her preschool. The other day she asked if she could walk to the mailbox alone, and I had to really fight my instinct to say no.
We’re so programmed now to see danger everywhere that the idea of a young child navigating streets alone feels reckless, even though millions of us did it daily.
2) Playing outside until dark with no check-ins
“Come home when the streetlights turn on” was basically our only rule. We’d disappear for hours, building forts in the woods, riding bikes to the other side of town, or playing elaborate games of hide and seek that spanned multiple neighborhoods.
No cell phones. No GPS trackers. No hourly texts asking where we were. Our parents had absolutely no idea where we were most of the time, and that was completely normal. If someone got hurt, we figured it out. If we got lost, we found our way home.
I’ll admit, even as someone who values free play and outdoor time, I get anxious when my kids are in the backyard and I can’t see them from the kitchen window.
3) Riding in cars without car seats or even seatbelts
This one makes me cringe now, but do you remember bouncing around in the back of station wagons? Or sitting on someone’s lap in the front seat? My younger sister used to sleep on the floor of our car during long road trips.
We’d pile into pickup truck beds for hayrides that had nothing to do with farms. Six kids would squeeze into a backseat meant for three. Nobody thought twice about it.
Now I triple-check car seat installations and wouldn’t dream of driving to the end of the driveway without everyone properly buckled.
4) Staying home alone after school
Latchkey kids were everywhere in the 70s. By age 9 or 10, coming home to an empty house was standard. We’d let ourselves in, make snacks, watch TV, and maybe start dinner before our parents got home from work.
The other day, a friend told me she was nervous about leaving her 12-year-old home alone for an hour while she ran errands.
When did we decide kids couldn’t handle being by themselves? Or maybe the better question is, when did the world become a place where we feel they can’t?
5) Using public transportation solo
By middle school, plenty of us were taking city buses alone, figuring out routes, and managing transfers. We’d ride our bikes to the next town over just to go to a different arcade or ice cream shop.
The independence was incredible. We learned to read maps, ask for help when needed, and problem-solve on the fly. These days, many teenagers have never taken public transportation without an adult, let alone elementary school kids.
6) Buying cigarettes for adults
“Run to the corner store and get me a pack of cigarettes” was a common errand for kids. We’d take a note from our parents and some cash, and the store clerk would hand them over without question.
Can you imagine sending your child to buy anything age-restricted now? The scrutiny around what kids can purchase has completely transformed. Even buying cough medicine requires an ID these days.
7) Swimming without lifeguards
We’d ride our bikes to the local pond, lake, or river and swim for hours completely unsupervised. No adults, no lifeguards, just a bunch of kids making sure nobody drowned.
The swimming holes and rope swings that defined our summers would be considered massive liability issues now. Most public spaces have been fenced off or posted with warning signs.
Even letting kids swim in a backyard pool without constant supervision feels risky to many parents today.
8) Operating dangerous tools and appliances
By age 10, I was using the stove, sharp knives, and even helping with power tools in the garage. We mowed lawns with push mowers that could easily take off a toe. We climbed ladders to clean gutters and used axes to chop wood.
The idea of handing my kids anything sharper than safety scissors makes me nervous, even though I know learning to use tools safely is an important life skill. We’ve bubble-wrapped so many experiences in the name of safety.
9) Going to the store with a blank check
Our moms would send us to the grocery store with a blank signed check and a shopping list. We’d fill the cart, watch the cashier ring everything up, and fill in the amount ourselves.
The trust involved in that simple act seems astronomical now.
Between identity theft fears and the fact that nobody uses checks anymore, this whole scenario feels like something from a different planet.
Finding our balance
Looking back at how we grew up compared to how we’re raising our kids today, I sometimes wonder if we’ve overcorrected. Yes, car seats save lives. Yes, supervision prevents some accidents. But what are our kids missing when they never experience true independence?
I see it in small ways with my own children. When I consciously step back and let them figure things out, they surprise me with their capability. Maybe we need to remember that kids are more resilient than we think.
The world has changed, absolutely. We know more about safety, and some changes are undeniably for the better.
But as I watch my little ones grow, I’m trying to find that sweet spot between keeping them safe and letting them develop the confidence that comes from doing things on their own.
After all, we turned out okay, didn’t we? Maybe it’s time to loosen the reins just a little bit and trust that our kids can handle more than we think. Even if it makes us uncomfortable. Especially if it makes us uncomfortable.
